I have made many stupid mistakes in my life, as I'm sure all of you have. One of mine was the decision to sell my festive weapons at the very beginning of last year's winter. If you look at the prices of festive weapons now, you'll see that some stranges are worth BUDS. That's right, freaking 26-key buds. If I had kept my strange festive minigun, I could have gotten 20 keys now. If I'd kept my festive sniper rifle, I could've gotten 22 keys. TF2 trading really frustrates me.
It's been a while since I've written a blog, and I'm sure you all aren't interested in what I did over that time. Well, too bad, because I am going to tell you!
No, that's not it, but I forgot everything else because it was so long since my last blog. I know, you all don't care, but I'm shoving this information down your throats anyway. G'day to you all.And you... you thought a good place for this secret hideout would be... in an enormous impossible-to-miss red barn directly on the only river out of the city? I mean, I'm no expert, but don't you think the Combine might pop in just to see if anyone is hiding inside the gigantic barn? How do you plan to keep them out if they show up? You don't even have a door to lock! -Concerned #63
Yeah, as the title says, I'm making Gmod videos! Except they aren't videos, they are screenshots and sounds put together. I'd say I'm pretty good. Here's my Youtube channel if you want to see them:
If you like my "videos", please subscribe!
(So, uh.... does anyone have some cheese?)
Once there was a bunny. This bunny had a birthday party. It was the bestest birthday party ever. Because that was the day the bunny got a bazooka. The bunny loved his bazooka. He blew up all sorts of things on the farm. He blew up the stable of Henrietta the Horse. He blew up the pen of Pugsly the Pig. He blew up the coop of Chuck the chicken.
"I have the bestest bazooka ever," the bunny said. Then the farm friends proceeded to beat him senseless and steal his bazooka.
Epilogue: Pugsly the pig, now without a pen, was quite annoyed. When none of the others were looking, he stole the bazooka. He tied a bandana on his head and swore vengeance on what had been done to him.
"From this day on," he whispered, raising the bazooka, "I shall be known as HAMBO."
I found some TF2 songs that are pretty great!
Erectin a BOOM: Youtube.com
desreveR MOOB a nitcerE: Youtube.com
Sniper's Godly Knife: Youtube.com
Heavy's New Weapon: Youtube.com
I'm Moovin' Nis: Youtube.com
Heck, there're a whole bunch more, but these are the ones I like the most :)
(The second one is "Erectin a BOOM Reversed in case you didn't figure it out)
SENTRY GOGO DOWN AND UP *PING* DAMMIT GOT TO MOVE THAT GEAR! THIS THING AIN'T ON AUTOPILOT DAMMIT GOT TO MOVE THAT GEAR! HOLD IT SPY! DON'T TOUCH THAT SENTRY! DAMMIT GOT TO MOVE THAT GEAR!
TF2 is free! Time to go heavy! :D
(Spies, please leave mah sentries alone. I'll fry yall at the stake if ya don't!)
(Oh, and if you don't know, this little paragraph is for absolutely NOTHING. You've wasted your time reading this!)
YAAAWWWNNNN. Oh. My alarm. Shut up.
Okay, hello audience. Or whoever's listening to this. I'm Joe. The only test subject left alive in Frohman Laboratories. Think it's too much like Portal 2? Eh. Not my problem. Anyway, Frohman, that guy who manages this shit place keeps me testing, day in, day out. I usually get three hours of sleep. Eh.. enough about me. Let's get on to a typical day in Frohman Labs.
"Oooohhhh Joooooeeee! Wake up!"
"Joe? Joe? Don't make me go GLaDOS on you."
"Shut up you blockhead..." I groan. I manage to drag myself out of bed. I stretch, then head for the door.
"Good. Test chamber 2, area 3. I don't think you've gone in there yet." goes on Frohman's voice. I roll my eyes and get to the area. There's a pit of lava that I can't jump across, even if I tried. I see a launching pad. At the other side of the room, there's a door and a sign that says "Did you hit your head? Press the button for emergency meds! Oh wait. The button hasn't been installed yet. Too bad." Oddly, Frohman likes to sound like GLaDOS. He even screams "Bird! Bird! Kill it! It's evil!" Whenever a chicken gets in his labs. How he gets rid of them, I don't know. Judging from the chicken's screams, I don't want to know. I hop onto the launching pad and shot across the pit. Oddly, the lava spits out little fireballs at me, as if it wanted to kill me. I hit the target area in front of the door, pull the lever next to it, and continue on to the corridor beyond. After taking six steps, I come across a sign that says "I am in hiding! Help me get out!" There's a hatch under it, and through the holes, I can see darkness. Judging from the smell, and the moaning, I'd say the poor guy hiding in there died and became a zombie. No thanks, I don't wanna be zombie chow. I reach the next test chamber and open the door. Test chamber 2, area 4. Yippee. Oh hey, there's a big hole in the wall. Looks like a tunnel. Someone put a sign there saying "Wanna skip this? Come in!" Hm... I want to skip this test... so I go in.
"No! Come back! We'll give you ca- er, candy! Come back! Joe! AAAAAaaaarrggghhhh..." goes Frohman. Hm. Looks like the test subject who dug this tunnel didn't have torches. Frohman warned all of us test subjects about monsters spawning in the dark, but he never told us what kind of monsters. Hey, what's that hissing? Sounds like FFFFFFSSSSSS!
Aagh. What happened? Why am I in this bed? Why am I covered in bandages? Why is Frohman standing over there? Why's he giving me that look? Can I possibly come up with more questions? So... Frohman's launching into an explanation. Oh right. Monsters spawning in the dark. Creeper? What's a creeper? Oh. Big green, four legged, frowny mouthed, two-eyed monster that goes FFFFFFFFSSSSSSS and explodes like a terrorist. Okay. So, this is not such an ordinary day. Well, it was, until I met that creeper. At least the tunnel helped me skip that test chamber.
I've been working on the railroad
Every pointless day
I've been working on the railroad
While my life gets pissed away
Cant' you hear the whistle blowing
Shatter my dreams in the morn'
Can't you hear the captain shouting
Wish I was never born!
In case you're wondering, that was from Civil Protection!
Helllloooooooo everyone! Coming to you live from the big church that no one can seem to find in
Ravenholm, it's the Gordon Frohman Show! Starring Gordon Frohman! Don't drink the water and don't touch that dial!
Grigori: Why the down face, brother?
Frohman: *Sigh* I canceled my comic. A reader commented on it, saying that he apologized if he sounded like a *******, but my comic sucked. He said that he has seen HUNDREDS of other Concerned rip offs just like mine. But still, his advice was good. So, I started a new comic
(www.resonancecascade.smackjeeves.com/). *Hands Griogori the first comic*
Grigori: HAHAHAHAHAAAAAA! You? Frohman? In the HECU army? HILARIOUS! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAAA!
Frohman: Er, whatever. *Turns to the camera* Well, that's it! This is Gordon Frohman, signing off!