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Blog RSS Feed Report abuse Latest Blog: Dakari's Adventures in Skyrim - Day Five

0 comments by Garyn Dakari on Sep 12th, 2014

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DAKARI'S ADVENTURES IN SKYRIM

Featuring Jasper Gleamdust, Mr. Philbert Dovahbitts, and Lydia

DAY FIVE


I started my fifth day with a whole lot of screaming. Not from me of course, I'm far too... womanly(...?) for that. I'm sure it was Lydia. And Dovahbitts and probably the horse, too. Yeah.

Just imagine that the air is thin and freezing cold, we're struggling to breath, and and climb, but it's all worth it, we're nearing the top of the mountain, and I haven't seen a single one of those fabled 7,000 steps yet. In your face, Jarl.

Now imagine screaming, screaming, more screaming, followed by a crunch and a bit more screaming.

Why?


BECAUSE MY HORSE DECIDED IT'D BE FUNNY TO DO A BACKFLIP OFF THE MOUNTAIN WE WERE CONQUERING, THAT'S WHY.

Now ain't this a surprise, the bandits ask me, right before trying to light me on fire.


Yeah it is! Here I thought I was going to go hungry on that mountain.

Alright Lydia, we're back at the bottom of the mountain, full inventories and bellies of food, but no horse. I guess we're walking.







On second thought, walking's boring.


Oh hey, a horse.

Come on Lydia, we're back in business! To the Greybeards!

 Sup.

And we were off, once again, to the rescue! "Were" being the operative word here, because I soon found a cave that I was just dying to check out.



...A spooky cave full of traps. Lovely.

Traps which I deftly avoid, mind you, because I'm awesome like that. Unfortunately Lydia is considerably less awesome, and not only almost gets us all killed, but alerts three angry people to our presence. Lydia, you're a great pal and all, but watch where you step next time. Anyway, swords, arrows, fire and stuff, we're progressing through this creepy cave when-





Hang on. Vampires? Kettles? Bodies? Bloody cages? Sheeit, I just walked into a horror movie.


Poor Bastard...

Time to burn this place to the ground... Shut up Lydia, I know we're underground, but heat rises, so if we blaze the place up it should raze it to the ground eventually, and maybe raise us up as well, getting us out of here. It's both efficient and logical.


FIAAAAAAAH!

After several save-loads near-death-experiences, I come to the conclusion that this Master Vampire is an a-hole. And my companions are pansies, always laying down on the job.

But then I remembered all that food I acquired at the bandit camp this morning. Multitasking like a boss, I stuff my face and swing my sword like a maniac, and the Master-Vamp is no more. HA! Saved by the sweetrolls.

Came, saw, conquered, rolled out alive.

And got a sweet coat out of it.

Trekkin' back out into the snow, we come across a nice couple who inform me that I don't look good. They must be insane though, because I look *fabulous*. I give them some money so they can afford to seek out help.

 

Ah, what a glorious day this is turning out to be. Eating bandits, killing vampires, helping mentally impaired people, and butterflies. 


Butter. Flies.

Whose house am I in? HA, all I know is that it's a beautiful day!


Jolly trees!

Jolly mountains!

Jolly town!

I want to fly, fly like a butter fly!

...


TO BE CONTINUED...?


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Post comment Comments  (40 - 50 of 233)
Legend67549
Legend67549 May 17 2012, 4:08pm says:

Garyn!

+2 votes     reply to comment
Garyn Dakari
Garyn Dakari May 17 2012, 5:23pm replied:

Legend!

+1 vote     reply to comment
Нunter-Seeker
Нunter-Seeker Mar 22 2012, 10:00am buried:

(buried)

Stop spamming some fan groups with asking ppl to join ur Star Wars group

-6 votes     reply to comment
Garyn Dakari
Garyn Dakari Mar 22 2012, 7:33pm replied:

Um....What?

What spam?

What Star Wars group?

What fan groups?

+3 votes     reply to comment
Garyn Dakari
Garyn Dakari Mar 26 2012, 6:09pm replied:

And what invites?

I believe you have me mistaken for someone else...

+2 votes     reply to comment
JA-394
JA-394 Mar 13 2012, 8:22pm says:

*Slowly backs out the door, leaving a note saying he can fix that*

+3 votes     reply to comment
KnightofEquulei
KnightofEquulei Mar 13 2012, 6:24pm says:

What's this do?

*Touches wall*

Oh shi-

*The wall explodes and the entire page ends up covered with debris*

****.

Crowley...LET'S RUN!!!

+4 votes     reply to comment
JA-394
JA-394 Mar 13 2012, 2:40am says:

Spam.

+1 vote     reply to comment
Metalspy
Metalspy Feb 18 2012, 6:52pm says:

Hm well I would say start out with one language and wait with learning other ones until you are comfortable enough using the first one, but it's your own choice of course. Like I said I prefer C++, but according to a lot of people Java is easier to learn.. and you can make side scrollers with Java, too! :P

+3 votes     reply to comment
aljesco
aljesco May 18 2012, 2:55pm replied:

Yeah.... Now I'm making my own side scrolling game because of Java's simplicity, decent debug tools and of course crossplatform!

+2 votes     reply to comment
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