I'm sorry for your loss Nikolai, you have my deepest condolences. I have lost many loved ones. The pain of them gone never feels any less sharp. But it does get easier to cope with it as time goes on. Just remember they would want you to keep on living. When the world and sad facts of life knock you down, you show these factors you can't control that you can get right back up.
Thank you loner1 for stepping in, and helping out in this very tender time.
Foxd1e
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