Blog - _DiamonD_

14 comments by _DiamonD_ on May 18th, 2009 digg this super bookmark

Yeah, I pretty much hate the community there. I usually go there in order to hunt for some models for a model hack, or possibly some animations for myself to convert, but otherwise you'll find alot of shit in the forums and well, everywhere. For people who do regularly post there, I apologize for this, but I can't simply place myself in that community without bumping into heaping loads of shit, followed by massive drama fests and general lol.

Allow me to give a few reasons towards my unaffection on FPSB.

Fpsbanana.com

Sigh. It even got a front page advertisement issued by the excellent admins of the site. Wow. Download and view it please. You'll see why I'm so fucking pissed off. Though better than most half-assed shit thrown in the submissions section, it's still a half-assed compile capable of being very good with just a little more time. The main issue here, like many "skins," is the blatant texture misalignment. And guess what? Everyone ignores it except for a minor few like myself. There are many things wrong here. One: why the FUCK did FPSB make the section name "skins?" Seriously. What the FUCK were they thinking? Skins imply a 2d flat surface used as a texture for a model to utilize with a UV map. FPSB actually re-defines the term itself just for it's own sake. Two: A rating of 9.3 (by the time I blog at the moment, it may go down for people with actual brains). What the fuck. Half-assed compiles get very high ratings all the time in FPSB. This doesn't help other than 6 year olds whining for more "points," a way to get the community going (which I find is a paradox, since children would just focus on getting that crummy compile up on the downloads just so that they can earn 80 points for a larger E-Penis). And Three: the advertisements of groups, or formally known as artistic "studios." Yeah, fuck you. I lol at the senseless amount of fail that people put into their work in these half-assed studios; they seem more like point-hungry mongerers if you'd ask me. It seems as though modding itself is dying from the sole reason that people can't take their time into a single model compile.

Fpsbanana.com

My pal ez_jamin scores. I love this guy, he's really nice to talk to. He helped me in the past with a NS pack I was working on as my first development team project. As you can see, he modeled, textured, and rigged this model for NS. It works flawlessly, and the artistic talent that went into it sure plays off as a result. I'll admit, some studios do get my watch. Damage and a few others have a great means of knowing what's right in making their own unique content. What's strange is that alot of the community looks down upon this. What I hate is the fact that the average 6 year old on FPSB goes piss over a Star-Wars character being used in NS, and rates it a 4 which drastically lowers the score of a submission. As you can see, this perfect model and compile gets a lower rating than that "L4D-Like Pistol." What. The. Fuck.

Fpsbanana.com

...

Uh, do I even need to spell this out for you guys? I'm sure you're all intellectually capable of understanding why this is so fucking stupid.
Anyhoo, I'll explain anyways for lulz. This community is full of a bunch of penis-oriented losers who can't get a control with their fap fingers. Ugh, it disgusts how people get amused over a extremely stupid hack of 2 common models. For FUCKS sake. I believe there's even a "I love Girls" group, where members post explicit pornography, only allowed for 18 year olds. Yeah, I lol.

I bet they masturbate in front of 200 poly models on their model viewer.

Fpsbanana.com

I mean, wow. I love this mod. I played it... oh yeah! FOUR FUCKING YEARS AGO. I mean JESUS CHRIST way to get with the times, FPSB. An admin of the site found the mod after mod hunting, and thought it'd be fun if he could get four 6 year olds into a server. He's trying to revive a dead mod by boasting about it on a single site using a single forum thread that requires a search to find. Nice PR, buddy. The admin actually contacted the lead developer of the mod when I asked him too, but he couldn't think that on his own. Talk about intellectualism. It's threads like these that go, "Wow, I can't believe you just figured that out." You'll be seeing ALOT of this on FPSB, and believe me, it will get on your nerves.

Fpsbanana.com

Aaaaand finally, The Meet the Spy Video, leaked onto the internet and brought to a huge audience via front page news post. I was astounded. No, not because of the great video. I was astounded that the admin of the site would post a leaked video on the front page of a website like that. Don't get me wrong, I love Valve from the top of my heart; without them, I probably wouldn't be here. I'm angered that a admin of a site would blatantly post a leaked video on a website in such a hugely public manner. I mean, COME THE FUCK ON. Doe's anyone there even have the ability to be a bit more considerate of others? I'm sure some of you here know how it's like to have something leaked from a project you were working on. If not, then let me assure you: I have. And the feeling sucks. I hated it, because I saw all my teammates and my own work go to waste to those inconsiderate scum. It makes developers lose alot of morale, and eventually led to my project dying for many reasons. Here's some advice to anyone here: try to imagine yourself in another persons shoes. How would YOU like it if I stole YOUR song, model, texture, program, art, or anything, and gave it out to people? Would you like it? I'd assume not. Then, place yourself in Valve's shoes. They put alot of effort into making a video such as this, and their videos are top-notch entertainment for all viewers. It's evident that they utilized many programs of lip-syncing, effects, voice acting, animation, and ecetera.  It must of made the developers feel bad when they see their hard work presented in such an inglorious manner. When I brought this up on the thread, 10 people shoot at me, telling me "But it's free... it's not hurting anyone." Uhhh, so when a mod gets leaked, it's ok because it's free? What. Use your FUCKING brain. If people worked hard into something, they will HATE seeing it distributed in a unglorified manner of a "leak." Oh, and LOL. Someone actually suggested that Valve LEAKED THE VIDEO TO US ON PURPOSE. That's so FUCKING full of it. Oh yeah, like, I leak my stuff all the time. If Valve leaked the stuff, it wouldn't be a leak. It'd be a release (Nice logic, FPSB).

Bottom line: Please. For the love of all that is good. If you are planning on using your time wisely and in a area of more intellectualism, go to Mod DB forums. Not FPSB.

8 comments by _DiamonD_ on Apr 18th, 2009 digg this super bookmark

4:02 AM.

Where am I?

UMass Lowell, a relatively small college.

So why exactly am I up in 4 o' clock in the morning, waking up merely 4 hours after I fell asleep?

Because a around 4-5 kids in my dorm floor are screaming their heads off, who can't act like mature college kids and who can not settle problems without involving more than 30-40 people on my dorm floor.

And you know what's really funny? This is becoming a reoccurring theme. Every day in my college was always frustrating for me. I don't want to be here, and for reasons I already addressed in previous blogs. These supposed kids screaming off in my dorm are the conformists of our society. They always try to prove themselves to people everyday, going out to drink and get hangovers in class, smoking weed just next door to my room and ending up getting myself and my roommate in trouble.

I'm tired of it.

But you know why I don't get angry like they do?

I have toleration. I have massive loads of patience. Despite being in this shithole, I know some form of good or light will come out of all of it. Sure, I have a small arm in my room, but I only use this as a form of protection against a few gang groups in my college (there have been recent reports of kids my age being mugged and raped outside of my library).

These supposed kids who conform and do what every "normal" kid does calls themselves men too.

You know what? I won't lie. I don't have any friends in college. I only have a few kids I say "Hi" to, but other than that, I'm alone in my room, thinking, modding, chatting with friends. Sure, you can call me a loner. A person who has nothing to lose. A person with no actual purpose. How do I keep going then? Because I have willpower, and I know that some form of good must come of all this shit that goes down here. I may be a nerd in real life, but I know for a fact that I am more of a man then any of those conforming bastards, watching their dirty television, smoking weed, playing their absurdly loud music, shouting at 4 in the morning, and the list goes on. At least I give a area of respect and tolerance, and I respect people for who they are rather than what they may appear to be. People with no sense of others' being in the same living household as they do should seriously shut the fuck up and be a bit more considerate of others.

I'm a bit angry, yes, but I just can't let go so easily. If that'd happen, I'm pretty sure I wouldn't be able to stop him.

6 comments by _DiamonD_ on Mar 19th, 2009 digg this super bookmark

Hey guys, I'm back. And I have a few words to say about all recent events.

I'm sure most of you are wondering why 10-15 members of Mod DB got banned after I reported the mod. That was mainly because in my report, I included quotes and profile links to Slick's actions that regarded his unethical treatment to numerous members in Mod DB. For that reason, admins sought out to eliminate the "spamming issue" by banning all members involved in the process. Thus, it was my fault you guys were banned, and I apologize for getting numerous people involved.

I have been very busy lately. Mod work in 3 teams, including my own, and school, alongside helping friends, I haven't spent major time making a good appeal for my ban. I appealed twice with the response of asking me to apologize for spamming Slick's profile.

Being a Kantian, I give back to others on what they undo to you or myself. Endless spam and douchebaggery made out by Slick1998 needed to stop, and it began to stop once he got a taste of his own medicine. I am sorry for getting alot of people involved in this little internet drama, however I am not sorry for spamming Slick's profile. I believe he got what he deserved in the end, and ultimately justice was served in the end.

I would like to mention that on this very, very huge site, I notice more members do moderation and help others rather than the administrators themselves, that is until a report comes up. However, because my single report got around 10-15 members banned, I believe you have taught me a even more grander lesson.

I would like to thank the admin responsible for unbanning me.

4 comments by _DiamonD_ on Mar 1st, 2009 digg this super bookmark

Well, you saw it coming folks. I see that there has been quite a bit of a uprising in the Player's Choice for the Best Upcoming Mod, so I thought I'd give some insight on the matter in a bit more depth than a single thread's post.

Since a Left 4 Dead Map Pack known as Dead Before Dawn won the Mod DB Player's Choice, it questions the very definition on what people really think a mod is.

So what exactly is a mod, you may ask?

mod·i·fi·ca·tion
1. The act of modifying or the condition of being modified.
2. A result of modifying.
3. A small alteration, adjustment, or limitation.

In my opinion, a modification is a large alteration of a original game to give a better gameplay experience and to ensue better graphics into a game.

And of course, a map is the environment of a game. From props to level design, the map gives meaning to the game/mod's code and creates the world for the player.

Now now, don't get the impression that I think DBD's work is bad. Cause' it is, without a doubt, some of the BEST mapping I have ever seen in my entire life. The work they did is not in question. What people are confused about is what these results mean for Mod DB as a whole.

What exactly is the Player Choice awards? Well, basically, anyone who registered or didn't register was able to give votes to their favorite mods, and the mod with the most cast votes was the winner. This means there's a whole other public scene that we aren't getting a opinion from : the unregistered members of Mod DB.

I'll be honest here. I never really found interest in Mod DB's awards. It's all really a popularity contest for a prize after your hours upon hours of mod work. Just because a mod wins a award doesn't necessarily judge how well your mod did in terms of work, but moreover, graded how well the leaders did public relations or got the mod well known. And if the mod leaders got Mod of the year, they would manage to get a hell of a lot more players entering their interest to their works. Many great modifications have died or lost a active fanbase because of this; if the leaders of such a mod did not offer to players a incentive or good video of their mod, and their presentation was poor despite their great mod work, the mod will not fly - ESPECIALLY for multiplayer mods. I cannot even begin to make another tangent on how so many great HL1 mods died without active PR'ing (a few good examples are "The Wastes" or "Science and Industry.").

And so, what doe's this reinforce?

Well, it sure does give a good insight on what people think modding is all about. Why do people give such interest to such awards? It sure doesn't show the public all the mods people work on. Hell, I can probably name 10 HL2 mods from the top of my head who are doing really pro stuff, yet do not bother to do PR'ing because they know what modding means.

Modding doesn't mean fame. It doesn't mean glory. It doesn't mean becoming a God of the internets. Nor does it mean winning money or a nice computer. True modders mod for the sake of modding.

I'm tellin' ya' folks. There is a WHOLE private modding scene out there. None of you know of these behind the scenes projects being led by people who attain this understanding. Just because people make a Mod DB page doesn't make it a mod. What makes a mod is hard work, dignity into your project, and ultimately a floor plan and goal for your dream so that it may one day fly.

So let this be yet another ode of wisdom to you people down in Mod DB. These awards signify quite a few great modifications out there, and with the winnings of a Mappack winning a Upcoming Mod Award, the credibility of the Mod DB awards is in shambles. It is your responsibility to look into the depths of Mod DB and look for yourself mods that catch your attention. Conforming to the general public does little good for you, and to be honest, your interests may be at a different level to that of the mainstream gamer.

Be wise. Make your own decisions. See true modding for what it is.

5 comments by _DiamonD_ on Feb 20th, 2009 digg this super bookmark

Yeah, 2 blogs in one night. Mainly because many things are annoying me right now, including some recent events of fail on Mod DB.

Another day, another troll, another flame bait, and another ignorant twat. Today, I'll be discussing the last one. There's quite a few seriously misinformed people in the community, and I find it only fair that I discuss in depth what I mean by "misinformed." Being my blog, be prepared for me to single out certain idiots of the community; I will and always will be impartial in my judgment, so just because you are making a game or mod doesn't make you better than a regular (and vice-versa).

In case many of you haven't noticed, there was quite a bit of a ruckus in the ZP:S mod page. Several people have given a huge series of unjustifiable remarks stating that the mod, ZP:S, was "poorly made" and how the lead developer was a "ego whore." I don't think I should be going off on a tangent saying how much work is really needed in order to actually finish a mod, let alone make it successful enough to have alot of players and a active fan base.

Allow me to quote what exactly this individual said. I will be focusing upon the remarks said by Gavavva, leader of the indie game "Overdose". I am not altering any of his remarks one bit, so please don't give me the card that I'm being bias.

Someone out there, give me one quote from Tatsur0 that shows his "attitude." Cause' I can't. Maybe that says something, hm. Damn, this is a tough one. (lol)

As I remarked on the Overdose game page:

I agree, unoriginal. Badly made? Very poor? Fucking fail. Especially the recent update enhancing the animations, there is some serious talent going through the ZP:S team. Give some good examples next time you trash talk.

Again, as I remarked on the Overdose game page:

Again, example please. All I see Tatsur0 do is help the community as much as possible to offer everyone a good mod. I don't see him as ego whore. As a matter of fact, I can claim everyone is egocentric, simply because by helping others you ultimately help yourself and make yourself feel good. That statement holds absolutely no weight.

See, I really can't see how he can say these things. If he ideally WAS a game developer, I really don't understand as to why he'd go to a good mod and start talking trash about it, supporting the people who obviously don't understand the dynamics in making such a mod. See, this just goes to prove that just because you are a developer doesn't necessarily mean you know whats best for everything. All that means is that you are making a mod, and you know alot of technical things like UV mapping, or baking models, or compiling a model. These experiences offer us a good outlet of learning, and can allow you to enter or create a development team to produce a mod or game, HOWEVER it doesn't give you a free pass to flame on people's mod pages. This elitist attitude is seemingly growing in Mod DB, and it really needs to stop. Have some god damn modesty for fucks sake.

I had high respects for Blur, but after these recent happenings it basically turned the tables 180 degrees. Behavior like this is unacceptable; it doesn't sway constructive criticism and never even helps the developers. I mean, if Gavavva at least gave precise examples and gameplay dynamics that were bothering him, gave a formalized report, and gave it to Tatsur0, then it'd be acceptable to say in the end of your report "ZP:S is a very poor mod." But he didn't. Without any means of evidence to support his claim, he goes up on his high horse and makes a extremely rash judgment on a extremely popular modification for Half-Life 2.

Allow me to quote what he said after I tried getting him to his senses.

He always goes on and remarks to me, calling me things like "ZP:S Fanboy" or even saying I said ZP:S was original when I really never said such a statement. These personal remarks have no effect on me, mainly because it just simply shows a sign of weakness on your part to basically flame at a person who isn't a ZP:S Fanboy.

Anyhoo, he adamantly thinks he's still right, and he thinks he is helping the ZP:S team by trolling their Mod DB page. Well guess what? You aren't. Give the community a bit more evidence to support your claims on what and why you think ZP:S is a fail mod. Otherwise, your statements are regarded as trolling.

Let this be another ode of wisdom through experience to you people in Mod DB. Please don't be stupid, you all have the capacity to know how to say things. We're a community - let's help one another.

1 comment by _DiamonD_ on Feb 19th, 2009 digg this super bookmark

Well, last weekend I got a PC version of Final Fantasy 7. And boy-o-boi, it's fucking pro.

I mean seriously, this game has everything. Mini-games, millions of ways to equip your dudes, very long campaign, sekrats, and a HELL of a lot of stuff to do. They don't make games like this anymore sadly. There's also a very small modding community with very active members working on really nice projects for FF7 PC, like the high-resolution widescreen mod, or even model packs. I am fucking loving this game so much, I almost feel like playing it all over again with a entirely new group for a completely different experience.

In order to do well in these Final Fantasy RPG games, the player has to work hard, have a strategy, and plan ahead in order to defeat long term goals like the Ruby and Emerald Weapons. I really found it extremely challenging to face these beasts, since they can seriously fuck my team over in no time at all. The player has to work very hard in order to actually overcome these Weapons, and ultimately get a prize at the end.

How doe's one defeat these mighty beasts?

Easy. Hours of training your Materia, hours of training your Chocobo, hours of collecting GP and BP in Gold Saucer.

Basically, hard work.

To be honest, I find it that many gamers work very hard in order to overcome these large tasks of getting a Gold Chocobo, or defeating the Weapons. I find this absolutely no different than modding in general. In my opinion, modding for a video game is just as challenging and fulfilling than defeating Emerald Weapon. All the hours spent into beefing up your team, it definitely puts a smile on your face when you play.

So when you, fellow gamer of Mod DB, say that modding isn't for you, and that you'd rather play games than develop them on the basis of being too complicated for you, please reconsider! Everyone in the world has the opportunity to do well. Everyone in the modding community has there own twist and skills, thus making everyone unique. All you gotta' do is have a dream and a goal, and hard work is all it takes.

Hell, I bet you do hard work to get better at your aim in CS, or leveled up your favorite RPG.

You can mod, because you already did.

1 comment by _DiamonD_ on Jan 26th, 2009 digg this super bookmark

Oh yay, back to the hell hole.

So yeah, yesterday, 12 o'clock in the afternoon I entered my dorm room to Umass Lowell. I neither felt nervous nor great when I finally got everything unpacked and ready to go. I felt, literally, nothing.

I dunno, might just be me, but I really don't see a legitimate reason as to why I am here in the first place. Okay, sure, Philosophy Degree. That's the closest thing to Pre-Law. Okay. And so, I have to stick around this joint for 4 more years. This, I can deal with.

It's really the future that disturbs me and pretty much neutrilizes everything else. So I asked myself the big question the other day "What did you want to be when you grow up?" I don't know. I still don't know. I mean, I can really be anything if I really tried, but I don't really see a point in trying to be something I'm not. What will that ultimately give me? A job? Money? A nice car? A nice TV? Respect? Fuck that. Fuck material possesions, fuck that respect, fuck all the unseen thigns you get from a degree in Law School.

I don't want it. I really never did. I really wanted to think my life through after High School, and not jumping into something so quickly.

Now I'm stuck here, a pariah of society, in my dorm room 24/7, trying to decide whether I should finish up model, sprite and sounds work for Blue Shift: Reassignment, or play CSS or HL2DM. I'm fucking pulling myself, dragging to waste more time so I can get home faster. Nothing here is worthwhile either way. Not a job, not a fucking party, not my clothes, not my classes. Nothing.

I might sound really emo, but don't take it that way. I'm not gonna' cut myself or anything, it's just, I'm not seeing the balance of things yet. There usually is one, but I am not seeing it. Where is it?

I guess I'll just drag myself to yet another cs_assault server. Catch ya' niggas later.

2 comments by _DiamonD_ on Jan 7th, 2009 digg this super bookmark

Well, a few days ago I joined this cs_assault 24/7 server in CSS. I had quite alot of fun being Terrorists, since it's by far a hugely biased T map.

I usually use the M3, Mac10 and AK47; for some odd reason, I always land headshots with the Mac10 without any skill, and I lol at the 5 frags in a row.

Anyhoo, my rant today is not about the gay random headshots I land with shitty guns, it's moreover these gay rules on many servers I ahve joined.

In assault, there are usually snipers that are at both ends of the map; one under the bridge being CTs, and the other end being at the crates of cash in the laundry bins in the building. The terrorists have the ability of seeing the feet of the Counter-Terrorists, while the CT's must move around alot in order to make the Terrorist move to land a frag.

With the opportunity of the ramp, seeing the little toes of the CT's is a reality. However, many admins found it an "exploit of a map" to shoot the feet of a CT with a Scout, since it chews 1/2 thier health.

How is this a exploit? Seriously. It's part of the freaking game. It's not my fault your little shitting feet are in the fucking way. Show your face and tell me stop foot sniping, cowards. It's not my fault you are camping at the entire end of the map telling me "OH NOES DIAMOND IS FOOT SNIPING OH PLZ HELP ME BAN BAN BAN" with your bloody scouts, prying my friend's heads open.

So let this be a ode of wisdom for those whiny bitchy admins out there. Learn not to get so butthurt in a game. For fucks sake, it's a game! For fun, ya know.

I hope no one forgets that these past times were made for the basis of our amusement, not for serial buiznass.

1 comment by _DiamonD_ on Nov 22nd, 2008 digg this super bookmark

Being banned on HIT, I'm sure many of you jump to conclusions and believe I did something rash or bad. I want you all to know that HIT meant alot to me, mainly because that was the place I started to mod for Gold Source. Many of the friends I talk to regularly, like Abyss25, Gravewrecker, Editor321, Slider, Nige111, and countless others, were all from HIT, and without HIT I probably wouldn't of been here in Mod DB.

The reason I have been banned on HIT was not because I am immature or such. Many of you down in HIT have to realize that many of it's people left, many people who once made great things are now gone. Minuit, D3ads, and countless others, have abandoned HIT for many reasons. Reasons I'm sure you are aware of. HIT has no longer become a developer's haven, but more of a noobfest of requesters with random tangents and discussions with poor moderation.

I hate to say this, but I actually do not regret leaving HIT forums. I won't be a Pipboy and try to register or even try to visit the forums ever again because I know much has changed. It's no longer that haven where mod developers can shine their work. It's become nothing more than some random shit.

Some of you think I'm immature or an idiot for doing those last few things in the forums. I recommend you people do a little more research before judging me and my actions. I promise you my life that I always put the community first. Always first. I always did other people's projects first before doing my own, which is why I am so behind on my own personal tasks. Don't think I'm a elitist or a cuntbag because of 2 or 3 posts on HIT. Look at my actions and what I have done, THEN judge what and who I am.

I have enough reason in my heart to believe the moderation team is lacking. I have absolutely no doubt that Lurid and Matt and a few others are fine and active admins, however Daza I would like to elaborate on.

Read this: Half-lifecreations.com

Now read my last few posts on HIT.

Correlation? Maybe I'm being very unmodest right now, I honestly don't care. I want you people in HIT to realize that what you might think I am is a misconception, nothing more than a fabrication. I do believe Daza is to blame for HIT's fall. Random bans with very little warning; it's not helping the community as a whole. HIT forums should be a place that fosters new members to learning new things. Do not forget that. It starts with learning. It ends with success. Never forget to give the community something. Never forget that it's always the community that comes first. Never.

And with that, I shall say my farewell. Good bye HIT forums, and I hope some of you see the true light of what it has become.

2 comments by _DiamonD_ on Nov 6th, 2008 digg this super bookmark

Wow. My anger has grown tremendously. I have lost much respect for this person.

Let me explain.

There's this kid in my College Writing I class named Sarge. He would always talk about his essay in class as if it's the next big thing. I'm not criticizing his writing skills, I'm criticizing his modesty. He has none. Sarge always makes every word in his essay seem like it's so fascinating. Seriously, it's people like Sarge who are stuck up and think they are better than everyone else make me wanna' kill myself. I seriously wanted to leave the room after what he said today.

So today in class, we were discussing about the November 4th election. Sarge just raises his hand out of nowhere and says under his breath "Obama is a monkey."

...

Wow.

At first I saw him as a intellectual genius, but now he's a fucking racist faggot.

He didn't even say sorry, which is even worse.

It's people like Sarge that make me extremely pissed off. Seriously. If it's one thing I hate, it's people who not only think they are on top and better than others, but those who are misinformed and know little of the situation or people.

Let me relate this to modding. Some people in this community think they are on top, or the best of the best. Lose that elitist attitude. Seriously. Everyone in the modding community is learning something. Everyone. Thinking you're better than another person only gives a bad impression for yourself. Don't be a Sarge, cause' despite your skills you aren't the best.

Also, I may note that a little modesty to your work goes far. You don't need to tell people that "I'm an expert," cause' in the modding community, that's a joke. Now, when you see a great modeler say "It wasn't much, I could've done better," this is a great attitude. Not only does respect grow, but it's a chance to get better at what you do.

Aim high, but don't get cocky. Know your limitations, and you'll find yourself.