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CEASE THIS TOM FOOLERY AT ONCE!
Bleh. Hit the wrong but. Although I disagree with the vocabulary part (you don't need big words to make a great story) but it does need some minor editing.
For example, every time someone speaks, they should have their own paragraph; makes it easier for the reader to understand who's talking.
Also, it's kind of unclear what the main character is, is he a Astartes (Loyalist or Traitor?) or a Guardsmen?
No, he's from a picture during a Golf Tournament.
I doubt it, because she wouldn't let you grope her.
She'd probably kill you.
But he's a Imperial Guardsmen. Almost all Imperial Guardsmen know about the Space Marines and the various chapters.
I don't see the correlation between that and this picture.
THE RAPE TRAIN HAS NO BRAKES!
*Points at description*
That made my day.
If by 'just a bit' you mean 'exactly like and obviously ported', then yes, yes it does look like the Metro 2033 armor.
Should put a space between paragraphs, make it easier to read.
Moddb's kind of a annoying when it comes to copying and pasting things from word to their own post...creating...thing.
Still posted a small part of it that I rewrote.
Seems as though my computer doesn't want me to update this thing.
I can't find the damn word document >.<.
Update on "The Void" will be posted late afternoon or evening tomorrow.
Sorry for the delay.
KILL IT WITH FIRE!!!!
Eh. I didn't put much into explaining the detail of the bridge, because that's the only time that we'll ever visit the bridge of the Fist of Retribution.
Thanks for the feedback.
Also, I've moved the story into a forum post,because honestly, posting these as a News update/features is overly complicated for my lazy ***.
Also, I'm going to try and update it at least once a week (Most likely on a Friday night/Saturday at the latest).
Don't worry. It will.
It's not the Imperial Fists, it's a descendant chapter of them.
That's the Joke.
It's a Changer of Ways. Greater Daemon of Tzeetch...
I lost interest at the UI overhaul.
Don't change things that aren't broken.
...Or Operation Flashpoint...
Nah, it'll probably be a Expansion.
Relic's big into them, if you haven't noticed.
Yea, it is.
...His head is so small...