MAKING GAMES IS FUCKING HARD.
Side note: Overheading the side is the most complicated mechanic I've seen in a game and it does not help that this tutorial explains it very poorly.
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Thanks to Kark-Jocke's competitions (http://www.moddb.com/groups/game-competition), I was finally able to get it! Now all my friends who have been begging me to get it can shut the fuck up!