My real name is Ainas. On internet I'm also known as illicitSoul. I'm 3D environment and level designer, novel writer, craftsman, cemetery explorer and a person who love arts. I'm also a veteran modder of BF2/2142. Currently I'm studying English philology and translation.

Post feature Report RSS "Every Empire Falls" novel prologue translation

I'm translating my dystopian novel which I'm writing in lithuanian. As far I know english speakers public is more wide and I'm hoping to get more feedback. My english isn't perfect for writing so that's a reason why I keep writing in my primary language first. Note, as it is translation from lithuanian, "-" means speach just like normal " ' " symbol :) My novel is 80k words lenght so far, have nearby 100 characters and seven protagonists :)

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PROLOGUE


Loud knock on the door stopped the plight of the morning silence. We knew that this had to happen quickly, but certainly not today, nor tomorrow. Father carefully looked through a small eyehole in the door and a curious little girl instantly grasped the spring of his ranging facial expression, which did not promised anything good.
"Emergency deportation". Stranger's words from the other side of the door indicated the worst.

"Garan". Dark-haired woman semi-whispered. "You can not wait any longer, you have to go right now"

the knocking continues. Father did not say anything to the men on the outside and quietly withdrew from the door. Both worried, and their glances stopped at the young girl.
Garan hesitated.

"Swear to me to take care of Tatjana" - sadly said the woman after huging the girl for the last time and entrusting it to the care of the man.

"I swear, Tyra" - kissing the woman and taking the girl. The man wanted the time to stop now, but he knew that it couldn't.

"Never Forsake her" – said the woman before opening the back door and bid farewell to husband and daughter with a sad glance.

"I won't. Ever".
Garan accumulated a lump in the throat.

"Tyra, come with us. I can not leave you, as I do not want them to do something bad to you".
He paused for one second, a single moment of wet eyes without glancing at his daughter.

"We do not have anything more than this house, the yard, the location, Garan, you must understand me. I do not want to lose what we have created so hard".
She delicately crossed hands and slowly looked down the dimly lit hallway.
Again there was a knock on the front door, but this time it was very strong, rather desperate jolt almost all out. Male thick voice commanded to open, and after a few moments threatened break the door. He again shouted:
"Garan Emit, Ms. Tyra Emit, you must immediately open. That's for all your safety".

Garan looked at the woman:

"You're more important to me than any place on Earth, Tyra" - gently touching his wife's cheeks, with a soft voice said Garan. "Come along with me, until it is too late. I need you. Daughter needs you!"

"Forgive, Garan" - slowly repelling his hands. "I can not. But everything will be fine, you'll see. And now leave from here as soon as possible" - said Tyra and quickly darted a glance to the side of the door. Father deftly grabbed a large backpack, a long brown coat and with his daughter under the arm, immediately sneaked through the back door. He paused and turned back: expected again to see the face of Tyra, but their gazes did not meet.

In the morning there was thick whitish mist and the sky still did not rush to embrace the sun. The man with the girl quickly moved through courtyards, narrow lanes. Muffled, their steps' echo softly accompanied them. Father picked up his daughter when she got tired. Danger was all around. They passed through the streets full of large, deportation trucks, and uniformed Corporation men were at almost every corner.
Father's face betrayed a major concern, a lot of restless, fragmented thoughts revolved in his mind. His eyes anxiously combed every corner, every gate, where danger could lurk.

"Dad, where are we going?"- somewhat timidly asked Tatiana, hardly predicting him from the piggy back.

"I do not know" - Garan said without turning. His voice sounded weak.

"I am concerned" - daughter asked.
Father squeezed daughter's hand and answered nothing more. After few minutes he stopped for a second and listened. Attentively. He was not sure that he heard something, but decided be ensured and quickly squatted along the nearby higher hedge. The whitish rings were clothed with dew moisture. Garan's ears did not cheat. Just after a few moments few dark and armed figures moved close to the wall of the house. Fast but carefully. They had backpacks and hoods on, but quickly disappeared, and phantom fog took their, almost as abruptly as if it was from their vanishing.
Garan pulled daughter's sleeve, and they continued moving. The man's ears were constantly busy, and catching the slightest sounds.

- What were they? - Quietly asked his daughter, fearing that her father once again might tell her to remain silent.
Then Garan stopped again with fully secured ears and looked around for a second.

- Bad, very bad people. Never go to them, okay?
Daughter did not say anything and nodded, even though this response was not enough for her.

- And who are those with black letters on the back? - Again with a tentative voice, she said.

- Even worse people. Never appear on their sight, ever! - said father with a stronger tone.

- If you get away from them, everything will be fine, you'll see.
Girl silently followed her father. She wanted to question at least a dozen things, but refrained.
Lazy rain drops stream slowly overcame the silence. Garan put on his long raincoat and covered daughter with its wide end. Tatjana's black hair was wet and shinny.
Silently hitting the raincoat, water drops bounced and turned into a fine mist, particles that were fulfilling the thick fog spreading around.The weather was chilly. Excellent weather to say goodbye to life.To never see the blue sky and bright sun again...
Someone's loud cough forced Garan to listen. Slightly bent figure glimpse through the mist of rain toward the man and the girl. Heavy rain struck the old man's jacket and hood, and cast a dark shadow on the hard-compressed lips. The stranger once again spat and concentrated on Garan:

- They've closed the highway, we have been reversed. There is stalemate now.
Garan waited. His back was pained by the huge backpack and he did not rush to say any word.

- Where do I go then? After all, they still could not shut down all the roads- worried father.

- North East - old stranger stretched out a little shaky hand and motioned assumed direction.

- Are there many people headed towards?
The old man muttered:

- I do not know. But no one in the south can pass anymore.

- Please Help us - did not give up the girl's father.

Stranger's face frowned:

- Avoid highways and go through sideways - said the old man, and disappeared from sight.
Garan looked at his daughter. Her eyes anxiously ran after her father's face.

- Come, - he said, and sighed.
Father and daughter were moving fast in the fog. Narrow streets, people who were loading their belongings into cars, barking dogs, helicopters buzzing. This early morning was officially declared the beginning of the new war, as little Emit knew. She heard her parents talking about it last night. The rebels attacked Corporation forces at night and freed a deportation column. After this, the Corporation hit back on a large scale. The clashes at Besidano, Hetanos, and Hogro cities became hot points. The Corporation declared war. The girl remembered the faces of her parents, concerned and afraid. At night none could sleep. They spoke softly, but TatJana realized that something was not right.

"If you start a war, the world will never be the same ever again"- before the morning events said Garan, as he walked back and forth in the hallway. He often stopped at the window and looked into the darkness. The whole night was dominated by uncomfortable atmosphere.
Unexpected dog's voice made Emit bounce off the fence. Small white crossbreed barked with a terribly strident voice and showed his teeth. Garan took his daughter's hand and they started moving again.

- What do you think, how is mum? - Quietly asked the girl.

- I think she's all right, - Garan was hard to conceal the strange bitterness.

- When will we get home? - Again asked little Emit.

- We will return. Quickly. - Bitterness in father's voice became stronger and stronger, and he felt that answering takes energy from him.

- When?

- Be strong - with displeased tone said Garan. Daughter silenced and said nothing more.
Fog lights and a glimpse of deportation truck, followed by dozens of uniformed men with weapons. Truck carried a group of civilians. Someone inside screamed and armed soldier hit with the butt of his gun. Garan told his daughter to wait until they move away. He found a steel rod and was prepared for a fight if he needs to. His face looked tense, but around them was quiet. Eventually, the girl felt dead tired. Father picked her up. They did not stop moving for long. Places where Garan went, Emit did not know. The sky at morning became purple.
After a few hours, they both paused on a high hill. Fog gradually faded away exposing thousands of hurrying figures. Their flow went from narrow streets and backstreets and wide-flocked to the highway as a solid, unstoppable river. Somewhere in the distance alarm sirens began to howl. They eclipsed all other existing sounds. Garan felt like all speech stops far out, and people are turning back to the sirens' side, and then their faces permeate horrific scare. Cluster of lights appeared in the sky, leaving behind a thick smoke tail. After a few moments, they swept to the ground into the flow of people. There was chaos and people living in the river turned into individual rain droplets, and similar to those that were hitting Garan's raincoat,they were turning into mist. Father fell on the ground and protected his daughter. Flashed a blinding light. Sound did not happen, there was only stunned silence.



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illicitSoul Author
illicitSoul - - 6,278 comments

I would like you to let me know grammar errors via pms and also leave feedback :)

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BagaturKhan
BagaturKhan - - 7,873 comments

Oh thanks for you work! Reading it now!

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