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He tactical geniused himself into 7th Edition
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Description
Our favorite tactical genius got himself inside the 7th Edition rulebook somehow.
The mortal moved his piece. Tzeentch, Lord of Change and Master of Destinies moved his. They were playing a game of chess. The stakes were high: if the mortal won, Tzeentch, all his daemons and followers would retreat to the Warp for all time and would never again attempt to harry the mighty Imperium of Man in any way be it directly or indirectly. If Tzeentch won (which, of course, he knew he would), the soul of the mortal went to Tzeentch. These stakes obviously seemed skewed in favor of the mortal, but there were several factors to consider.
The mortal moved another piece.
Tzeentch moved another piece.
Tzeentch had wanted this particular soul for what might have been 10 million years, or maybe 5 minutes. Who could tell in the Warp? The problem was, it was pledged to the accursed corpse-god on Terra. So Tzeentch had sought him out and challenged him.
The mortal moved.
Tzeentch moved.
Also Tzeentch, as Master of Fates, knew that he would win. He had to. He had been planning for this game for centuries before the mortal in question was ever born. He had watched, planned, schemed, and acted to ensure that the mortal would learn a certain chess strategy, one that he just "happened" to have a perfect counter to.
Another move by the mortal.
Another move by Tzeentch.
Finally, the idea of a Chaos God focusing so much on a single soul, or making such an enormous bargain was inconceivable, a fact that had never once changed, not even for Warmaster Horus. What was Tzeentch, if not the Lord of Change? So went the reasoning (if the thought process of a Chaos God can be called such) of Tzeentch.
The mortal went on for several turns.
Tzeentch went on for several turns.
Finally, the mortal got a smug look on his face. Tzeentch's beak curled into something resembling a smile.He held his head up high. The mortal moved a piece. Tzeentch spoke, in a voice that was ever shifting and could drive men mad.
"Mortal, do you not know who I am? Let me tell you. I am Tzeentch. The Changer of Ways. The Master of Fate. The Lord of Change. The Controller of Destinies. I have existed before the stars, and I will exist long after they have died. No mere mortal could possibly-"
Then Tzeentch spared a glance at the board.
"What is that pawn doing there?"
Tzeentch stared, utterly dumbstruck. His eyes bulged and his beak dropped. He saw the reason for the mortal's smugness
It was checkmate.
A very small part of Tzeentch was glad. After all, being unintentionally defeated was certainly a change for him. Also, no longer interfering in the affairs of the mortal galaxy was definitely a change.
However, that was just a very small part.
Tzeentch let out a cry of rage. It was a cry that echoed throughout the Warp, driving Imperial psykers insane and Chaos sorcerers more insane. It was a cry containing a subconscious command. All across the galaxy, the daemons of Tzeentch vanished from the material world, never to return. His mortal followers began retreating, heading towards the Eye of Terror. All the Gods, daemons, and mortal followers of Chaos took notice. In the Warp near Terra, the mighty soul of the God-Emperor of Mankind himself took notice. He smiled, for he knew what it meant. It was a cry that was to echo in the Warp throughout eternity, long after the stars themselves died. It was the cry of a defeated god.
"CREEEEEEEED!"
"U mad bro ?"
Said Creed.
The correct reaction is for Creed to puff his cigar as if was a very good blunt and give an epic troll face. Like a Boss.
Its funny, I was just reading that on 1d4chan. Its almost as if my web browser was specifically set up for me to see that. Would've taken some kind of tactical geniu- CREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEED!
Does that Standard Bearer have a speaker attached to the side of his head?
The loudspeaker is attached to the standard ^^