ESPA - SLAVE QUARTERS - PORCH Qui-Gon puts the comlink away as Shmi comes onto
the porch. Padme, Anakin, Jar Jar, C-3PO and R2-D2 work on the engines of the
Podracer in the courtyard below.
You should be proud of your son. He gives without any thought of reward.
(upset) How do you know? Did you ask him if he wanted a reward? Or did you just
plan on keeping all the winnings for yourself, you greedy...
(upset) What's the matter with you, woman? Why are you trippin' like this? Ever
since I set foot in this house, you've done nothing but attack me! Why?!
(wryly) Oh, I don't know. I guess I just don't get that warm fuzzy feeling for
angry guys who think I need to be punished severely. I'm kinda funny that way.
Oh, that. Look, maybe you're right. Maybe I should see somebody about my anger.
Either that or start taking some of Obi-Wan's "happy pills".
(nervously smiles at Shmi, who isn't smiling back) Uh, anyway, I sense there's
something else bothering you. Something from the past. Something that directly
involves me. (moves closer to Shmi) There is something familiar about you...
and the boy. It's weird, like we've met before or something. (Shmi turns away
but Qui-Gon puts his hand on her shoulder and turns her back around) And
Anakin... he has special powers.
He can see things before they happen. That's why he appears to have such quick
reflexes. It is a Jedi trait.
Yes. He obviously inherited his Jedi powers.
The Force is unusually strong with him, that much is clear. Who was his father?
(Turns away again. Qui-Gon stands very close behind her. She looks off in a
dream-like state and smiles) It was over 10 years ago... Ladies Night at the
Mos Eisley Cantina. Me and a couple of friends were having a few drinks. We
were having a great time getting wasted. Then, I saw him... this young, tall,
blue-eyed stud muffin standing across the room, staring at me. He was the most
beautiful thing I had ever seen. Well, one thing led to another and... I was
pretty drunk. I never even knew who he was, except that he was a Jedi Knight,
who promised to return and marry me the following day.
(looks away, stunned, thinking out loud) I said that? (to Shmi) I mean, HE said
that? So... HE must be the father then.
(turns and faces Qui-Gon) NO!!! There was no father! I carried him, I gave
birth, I raised him... that's it! I felt so humiliated and "used"
when that Jedi jerk didn't come back. I didn't want my anger and pain to become
Anakin's, so I made-up this "no father" crap. (with a crazed look)
I'm his "Virgin Mom" and I'm telling you -- no, warning you -- that
there was no father! Get it?!
Yeah, I'm getting it alright... you're nuts! I'm taking him away with me. Had
he been born in the Republic, I would have found him long ago and he would have
become a Jedi, like his father. Maybe it's not too late, if I take him now.
(smirks) So, what's your plan, Jedi-man? You gonna steal him away in the night?
And as soon as Watto finds out, BOOM!!! My kid's gonna be splattered from here
(worriedly) Hmmm... I forgot about the transmitter. There's got to be another,
less messy way.
and Qui-Gon stare out into the courtyard, watching Anakin. Kitster (a young boy
about Anakin's age), Seek (a boy of ten), Amee (a girl of six), and Wald (a
Greedo Type, six years old), join Anakin, Jar Jar, R2-D2, C-3PO and Padme,
securing some wiring.
Wow, a real Astro Droid! How'd you get so lucky?
That isn't the half of it. I'm entered in the Boonta Race tomorrow!
What? With this?!
(subtitled) Annie, Jesko na joka. ("You are such a joker, Annie.")
(walks over to Wald and angrily starts poking him in the chest) I told you to
stop calling me "Annie"!
You've been working on that thing for years... it's never gonna run.
Come on you guys, he's always been such a big stupid weirdo! Let's go play
ball. Keep it up, "Annie", and you're gonna be bug squash!
Wald and Amee take off, laughing. Anakin is upset and starts to have a vision,
set far in the future. Seek has become a high-ranking military official, who's
just been mouthing off to some guy in a strange black outfit. Then the guy uses
some special powers and Seek begins choking. Anakin grins, as he watches little
Seek run off with the other kids.
(turns and notices Jar Jar standing by the energy binder plates) Hey! Jar Jar!
Keep away from those energy binders.
JAR: Who, meesa?
If your hand gets caught in that beam, it’s gonna go numb for hours.
Jar clumsily drops a tool on the ground. As he bends down to retrieve it, his
head gets caught in the energy beam and he's zapped. Jar Jar jerks and tosses
the tool into the afterburner. He tries to speak, but his tongue hangs limply
out of his mouth and his words are garbled.
You don't even know if this thing's gonna run.
Jar Jar tries to retrieve the tool again, his hand becomes stuck in the afterburner.
Qui-Gon walks up to Anakin and hands him a small battery.
Here, my son. I think it's time we found out. Here's the power charge.
jumps into the little pod behind the two giant engines. He puts the power pack
into the dashboard. Everyone backs away, except for Jar Jar who calls for help.
Unfortunately, Padme hears him and frees him. Then the engines ignite with a
roar. Everyone cheers.
IT'S WORKING!!! IT'S WORKING!!!
from the porch, Shmi smiles, then looks worried, as she wonders if Qui-Gon is
going to open his big mouth... just like she did earlier.
QUARTERS - BALCONY It is night, as Anakin sits on the balcony rail of his hovel
and Qui-Gon tends to a cut on the boy's arm.
Sit still, Annie. Let me clean this cut.
Aw, come on... I wish you guys would stop calling me that! You don't realize it
now, but that name is causing me irreversible psychological damage that will
result in my future sociopathic behavior, causing utter havoc and chaos throughout
the galaxy, and creating the greatest disturbance and unbalance in the Force
mouth open, sits frozen in stunned silence. Then the boy leans back to look at
the vast blanket of stars in the sky.
There’s so many! Do they all have a system of planets?
(still dazed) Uh, yeah -- "Anakin" -- most of them.
Has anyone been to them all?
Uh, no, not likely.
I want to be the first one to see them all... maybe when I'm ruler of the
galaxy! (starts laughing).
startled, accidentally scrapes Anakin's arm, making it bleed again. He then
wipes the patch of blood off Anakin's arm.
Uh, sorry, my son. There we are, good as new.
(yells from inside the hovel) Annie, bedtime!
(quivers at being called that name again) I swear, if she weren't my mom,
nervously smiles and pats Anakin's head, then scrapes his blood onto a comlink
What are you doing?
Checking your blood for infections.
(yelling from the doorway) Annie! I'm not going to tell you again!
grimaces. Then Qui-Gon hugs him and kisses him on the forehead. Anakin looks
(smiling) Time for bed now... you have a big day tomorrow. Goodnight, my son.
(pushes away) Hey, what's wrong with you?! You keep patting me, hugging me,
kissing me, calling me "son"... you've been acting extra weird
lately. What's up with that? You going senile or something?
(angrily) Senile?! I'm not even fifty years old yet!! (Nervously smiles and
tries to calm down) Uh, don't be silly now, of course not. (rubs Anakin's head)
Looks like somebody's gone way past their sleepy time. Now be a good boy and
run along, before the sandman comes and doesn't leave you any sweet dreams
shakes his head, mumbles and runs into the hovel. Qui-Gon takes the blood
stained chip and inserts it into the comlink, then calls Obi-Wan.
I need an analysis of this blood sample I'm sending you.
Okay, what kind do you want? Drug, alcohol, pregnancy...
No, it's for the boy! I need a midi-chlorian count.
(pauses) The readings are off the chart... over twenty-thousand.
(almost to himself) That's it then.
Even Master Yoda doesn't have a midi-chlorian count that high!
No Jedi has (thinks to himself "...well, except me.")
What does it mean?
I'm not sure (thinks to himself again "...gee, I guess I really am the
Jedi Knight looks up and sees Shmi in the doorway watching him, wiping some
kitchen utensil with a towel.
I mean it! (shows him the butter knife she was wiping) He has no father!
looks away, sighs and shakes his head.
- DESERT MESA A Sith spacecraft lands on top of a desert mesa at dusk. The door
opens and very loud, cheesy theme music is heard booming from inside. Darth
Maul exits the ship and walks to the edge of the mesa, studying the landscape
with a pair of electrobinoculars. His head bobs to the music as he picks out
the lights of three different cities in the distance. Then he pushes buttons on
his electronic armband. Three basketball-sized probe droids float out of the ship
and head off in three different directions, toward the cities. Maul stands on
the mesa and watches them through his electrobinoculars, while singing.
ESPA ARENA - MAIN HANGAR It's morning at the racing arena's main hangar, a
large building filled with a dozen or so Podracers being readied for the day's
big event. Crews and pilots rush about, making last minute fixes on their
vehicles. Watto, Qui-Gon and Jar Jar walk through all the activity.
I want to see your spaceship the moment the race is over.
Patience, my blue fiend. You'll have your winnings before the suns set. And
we'll be far away from this dried-up little planet.
Not if your ship belongs to me, I think. I warn you, no funny business.
Are YOU accusing ME of being a con-artist? Or is it you just don't think Anakin
stops before an orange racer. Sitting to one side, having his shoulders and
neck massaged by twin Yobanas, is Sebulba. Jar Jar looks over and gasps.
Don't get me wrongo. I have great faith in the boy. He's a credit to your race,
but Sebulba there is going to win, I think.
Why do you think that?
He always wins... he's a cheating piece of scum, like-a me. (laughs) I'm
betting heavily on Sebulba.
(thinks for a moment) I'll take that bet.
(suddenly stops laughing) What?!
I'll wager my new racing Pod against... say... the boy and his mother.
No Pod's worth two slaves, not by a long shot.
The boy then.
(pulls out a small cube from his pocket) We'll let fate decide, eh? I just
happen to have a chance cube. Blue it's the boy, red his mother...
lifts his hand slightly, knocking the cube out of Watto's hand.
cube lands on the blue side. Qui-Gon and Jar Jar smile. Watto is angry.
It was a fair toss.
You won the small toss, outlander, but you won't win the race, so... it makes
and Padme enter the hangar on an Eopie, a camel-like creature. Kitster and Shmi
ride on another Eopie. With C-3PO walking alongside, R2-D2 tows the Pod. Watto
passes Anakin as he leaves.
(subtitled) Bonapa keesa pateeso, o wanna meetee chobodd. ("Better stop
your friend's betting, or I'll end up owning him, too". Flies off,
What did he mean by that?
Don't pay that fool no mind.
beeps at C-3PO.
Oh my, that blue fellow certainly is a little piece of s...
emits a series of loud beeps and whistles.
Yes, he's a real bas...
emits an even louder series of beeps and whistles.
(to Anakin) This is so wizard! I'm sure you'll do it this time.
Finish the race, of course!
You've never won a race?
Well... not exactly.
Not even finished?!
(getting cocky) Hey chill-out, baby! Kitster's right, I will this time (winks
(walks up behind Anakin, placing his hands on his shoulders) Of course you
will, my son.
looks embarrassed, as Qui-Gon rubs the boy's head and smiles.
ESPA - STREET One of Darth Maul's probe droids slowly floats down the main
street of Mos Espa. It looks into shops and studies people as it searches for
Obi-Wan, Qui-Gon or the Queen. A Jawa tries to steal the droid but when he
grabs it, gets fried by 50,000 volts of anti-theft protection Dark Side
ESPA - DESERT RACE ARENA A large semi-circular amphitheater holding a hundred
thousand people dominates the landscape. Large viewing platforms loom over the
ESPA ARENA - ANNOUNCER'S BOX A two-headed announcer called Fode & Beed
describes the scene.
Toogie! Toogie! ("Greetings") We have perfect weather today for the
Boonta classic. The most hazardous of all Podraces.
That's absolutely right. And a big turnout here, from all corners of the Outer
Rim territories. I see the contestants are making their way out onto the
ESPA - DESERT RACE ARENA On the left side of the tracks across from the grandstands,
a line of Podracers emerges from the large hangar, surrounded by several crew
members. Pods are pulled by a wide variety of creatures and are led by persons
or droids carrying flags. The pilots stand facing the royal box.
Yes, there they are!
I see Ben Quadinaros from the Tund system.
And Gasgano in the new Ord Pedrovia.
Two time winner, Boles Roor...
On the front line the reigning champion, Sebulba!!
crowd roars, as Sebulba waves.
And a late entry, Anakin Skywalker, a local boy.
waves to the cheering crowd.
ESPA - ARENA - STARTING GRID Anakin attaches the giant engines to his Pod with
a long cable. Sebulba sneaks over and bends down a part protruding from one of
Anakin's engines. He looks around to see if anyone has noticed. He walks over
to Anakin and gives him a sinister grin.
Bazda wahota, shag. Dobiella Nok. Yoka to Bantha poodoo. (You won't walk away
from this one, slave scum! You're Bantha poodoo.")
(subtitled) Cha skrundee da pat, sleemo. ("Spin on this, slime-ball."
Anakin holds up a screwdriver to Sebulba's face).
eyes get big, then he sneers and walks away as Qui-Gon approaches.
Are you all set, son? (Anakin rolls his eyes) Right. (Qui-Gon helps Anakin into
his Pod; the boy straps himself into the tiny racer). Remember, concentrate on
the moment. Feel. Don't think. Trust your instincts. (Smiles and rubs Anakin's
head) May the Force be with you, my son. (Steps back as Anakin puts on his goggles).
ESPA - ARENA - ROYAL BOX Jabba the Hutt enters the box and waves to the crowd.
His honor, our glorious host, Jabba the Hutt has entered the arena.
crowd cheers. Several other slug-like hutts follow, along with other creatures
and a slave girl on a chain. Jabba throws kisses to the fans.
(subtitled) Ka bazza kundee hodrudda! ("Let's get ready to
ESPA - ARENA - STARTING GRID The pilots flip switches and powerful energy
binders shoot between the engines. Anakin flips a switch and his engine starts.
The incredible roar of high-powered engines igniting echoes throughout the
arena. The flag bearers move off the track. The crowd eagerly awaits the start
of the race.
The power couplings are being activated.
Hey, it looks like they're clearing the grid.
ESPA - ARENA - VIEWING PLATFORM Shmi looks anxiously at Qui-Gon as he enters
the viewing platform. Padme and Jar Jar are already on board. The platform
rises like an elevator.
I swear, if he gets hurt... (raises a clenched fist to Qui-Gon).
(rolls eyes, turns away) Oh give it a rest!
(steps over to Qui-Gon) You Jedi are far too reckless. The Queen...
And don't YOU get started again! The Queen trusts my judgment, young
handmaiden. You should too. (Smiles and pinches Padme's cheek).
(angrily slaps Qui-Gon's hand away) You assume too much!
ESPA - ARENA - ROYAL BOX Jabba bites off the head of his snack and spits it at
a gong, signaling the start of the race.
ESPA - ARENA - STARTING GRID On a bridge over the track, a great green light at
the center flashes. The Podracers shoot forward with a high-pitched scream.
Anakin's engine floods and coughs -- then dies. All the other Podracers except
one swerve around him and disappear around the track. He struggles to get his
racer started. The two-headed announcer reports.
And they're off!
Oh, wait. Little "Annie" has stalled.
glares at the announcers, as he flips switches, trying to start his engines.
Padme and Jar Jar are upset. Qui-Gon puts his arm around a worried Shmi to
comfort her, but starts overdoing it, as he reminisces about that night in Mos
Eisley. Shmi elbows him, turns and glares. He releases her, grinning nervously.
She turns back around just as Anakin's engines ignite. He zooms away after the
receding pack of competitors, leaving one quadra-Pod racer still trying to get
started. The two-headed Announcer describes the race as it progresses.
And there goes Skywalker! He'll be hard pressed to catch up with the leaders
ESPA - RACETRACK The Podracers fly across the desert. Sebulba drives his Pod
into one of his rivals, forcing him to crash into the wall of a large rock
formation. Anakin is much faster than the back-end stragglers and passes them
easily. Four Tusken Raiders are perched on a cliff above the race course.
#1: Hey, isn't that the runt who's been hanging out with that Jedi chump?
#2: Well I'll be! Let's nail the little brat!
Raiders begin firing their rifles at Anakin's Podracer in the canyon below
them. One shot ricochets off the back of his Pod.
Looks like a few Tusken Raiders have camped out on the canyon dune turn.
Jar Jar, Shmi and Qui-Gon worriedly watch a hand-held view screen. R2-D2, down
in the pits with Kitster and C-3PO, lets out a distressed sigh; C-3PO lets out
a few profanities. Anakin is powering around corners and over hills and cliffs,
passing other racers right and left. Sebulba is in the lead. Anakin works his
way through a dense mass of racers as they zoom over a dune sea, kicking up
dust. Some of the other racers are either crashing accidentally or at the hands
ESPA - ARENA - VIEWING PLATFORM Qui-Gon, Padme and Shmi search the landscape
for any sign of the racers. Watto is laughing with his friends, confident in
Anakin's defeat. The quadra-Pod engines start just as the racers come around
the corner. The pilot puts it in gear and the four engines go off in all
directions, exploding in a spectacular display. The Pod drops to the ground as
Sebulba enters the arena, closely followed by all the other racers. Kitster
strains to see, as R2-D2 beeps excitedly. The announcer continues.
Oooh, there goes Quadinaros' power couplings!
Here comes Sebulba in record time!
Padme, Shmi and Jar Jar eagerly watch as Anakin approaches. Lap two. Sebulba
and the remaining racers pass the main arena. The crowd stands and yells as the
Podracers scream off into the distance.
Here he comes!
lets out an excited whistle, as Kitster yells.
He has to complete two more circuits? Well I'll be da...
is drowned out by the sound of Anakin's racer coming around the bend, quickly
gaining on the pack. The two-headed announcer describes the action. The crowd
It looks like Skywalker is moving up through the field. He's in...
Sixth place, not bad.
continues to gain on the pack. The tension for Shmi and Padme is unbearable.
Another racer is getting close to Sebulba, who throws a small part from his Pod
into the racer's engine, causing him to crash, barely missing Anakin. Skywalker
finally catches up with Sebulba and runs neck and neck over the rough terrain.
Jar Jar, Qui-Gon, Shmi and Padme are excited as Anakin comes through the arena.
The lights in the tower indicate that this is the third and final lap. After
passing through the arena, Sebulba rams Anakin, who is forced off course.
Skywalker is forced onto the service ramp!
a surprise move, Anakin flies high over Sebulba, then dives in front of him to
take the lead.
It's Skywalker! A sudden controlled thrust and he's back on course!
is furious. He stays right on Anakin's tail, pushing the boy's engines to the
limit. The part on Anakin's engine that Sebulba loosened before the race,
begins shaking violently and finally falls off. Warning lights and alarms go
off on Anakin's control panel, as he begins losing one of his engines. He
switches over to an auxiliary system, flipping various switches, until the
engine is finally restored to full power. Meanwhile, Sebulba has passed him and
is gaining a big lead. Watto and friends are cheering. Qui-Gon and friends are
worried, but hopeful. Anakin starts to gain on Sebulba and finally catches up
with him, as they race down the final stretch of the track.
He's caught Sebulba!
veers toward Anakin and bangs into his Pod. The young boy struggles to maintain
control as the steering rods on the two Pods become hooked together.
That little human being is out of his mind!
They're neck and neck!
They're side by side!
Shoulder to shoulder!!
they head for the final stretch, Anakin fights to unlock the steering rods by
trying to pull away from Sebulba. The strain on the steering rod is tremendous.
Suddenly, Anakin thrusts his engines, breaking free of Sebulba, whose pod spins
out of control and into an ancient statue. One engine explodes, then the other.
Sebulba skids through the wreckage, unhurt. He slides to a smoking stop and
bangs on his racer.
flies triumphantly into the arena, as Padme and Jar Jar jump up and down with
excitement. R2-D2 whistles and beeps wildly; C-3PO's rude mouth is drowned out
by the cheers of the crowd. Kitster and Wald dance around celebrating. Qui-Gon
and Shmi share a loving smile, then snap back to reality and quickly turn away
from one another. Anakin races over the finish line, the winner.
It's Skywalker! The crowd is going nuts! Ooh-Ah-Ooh-Ah! (rocks head in tandem
Anakin stops the Podracer, Qui-Gon, Shmi, Padme and the others run up to
congratulate him. Thousands of spectators join them in the celebration.
ESPA - ARENA - MAIN HANGAR The Main Hangar is almost deserted as racers depart.
(hugging and kissing Anakin) It's so wonderful, Annie. You have brought hope to
those who have none. I'm so very proud of you! (Hugs Anakin tighter and tighter
until he pulls away, embarrassed).
We owe you everything. (Hugs Anakin, who holds her tighter and tighter until
she pulls away, embarrassed).
ESPA - ARENA - WATTO'S PRIVATE BOX Several persons leave Watto's box, laughing
and counting their money. Watto sees Qui-Gon standing in the doorway.
You! You swindled me! You knew the boy was-a going to win! Somehow you knew it!
I lost everything.
Whenever you gamble my friend, eventually you'll lose... any Day Trader will
tell you that. Bring the parts to the main hangar. I'll come by your shop later
on so you can release the boy.
You can't have him! It wasn't a fair bet.
What?! (angrily grabs Watto's nose/trunk and quickly ties it into a knot) Now,
do we need to discuss this any further?
(writhing in pain, while trying to untie nose/trunk) NO!!! No... take him, take
TATOOINE DESERT - NABOO SPACECRAFT R2-D2,
Qui-Gon, Padme and Jar Jar arrive at the ship, bringing a large amount of
supplies and the hyperdrive. Obi-Wan comes out of the ship and joins them.
We've got all the essential parts. I'm going back... some unfinished business.
I won't be long.
Why do I sense we've picked up another pathetic life form?
It's the boy who's responsible for getting us these parts! Now shut your yap
and get this hyperdrive generator installed.
turns to ride back into Mos Espa.
Yes, Master. (he sticks his tongue out, frowns and mocks Qui-Gon) "It's
the boy who's responsible for getting us these parts..."
spins around, again trying to catch Obi-Wan, but the apprentice quickly turns
toward the ship and walks away while cleaning his ear.
HOVEL - MAIN ROOM Shmi is at her workstation when Anakin bursts through the
door, followed by Qui-Gon.
Mom, he sold the Pod! Look at all the money we have! (Hands Shmi the money).
Oh, my goodness! That's wonderful. (to Qui-Gon) I guess you're not as greedy as
(gives Shmi a big fake grin, then smiles at Anakin) Anakin has been freed.
You're no longer a slave, son.
jumps for joy; Shmi is happy, yet sad.
Did you hear that, Mom?!
Now you can make your dreams come true, Annie. You're free! (Turns to Qui-Gon)
Well, I guess you did find a less messy way to take him with you. Is he to
become a Jedi?
Yes... our meeting was not a coincidence. Nothing happens by accident...
(mumbling) Unless you run into some smooth-talking player on Ladies Night at
the Mos Eisley Cantina.
glares at Shmi.
You mean, I get to go with you in your starship and everything?!
(kneels down before the boy) Anakin, my son, training to become a Jedi will not
be an easy challenge. And even if you succeed, it will be a hard life.
But I wanna go, it's what I've always dreamed of doing. (turns to Shmi) Can I
go, Mom? Please? Pretty please? Pretty please with sugar on top...
Alright, alright! Look, this path has been placed before you, Anakin; the
choice is yours alone.
(thinks for a moment) I want to go.
Then pack your things, my son. We haven't much time.
Yippee!! (hugs Shmi and starts for his room, then stops and turns around). What
about Mom? Is she free too? You're coming, aren't you Mom?
I tried to free your mother, Anakin, but Watto wouldn't have it.
(mumbling) Yeah, sure.
walks over to Shmi, who takes both of his hands in hers and draws him close.
Son, my place is here. My future is here. It is time for you to let go.
I don't want things to change.
(sadly) You can't stop the change any more than you can stop the suns from
setting. Oh, I love you (hugs Anakin). Now, hurry.
(backs away, sadly holding his head down) I'm going to miss you so much, Mom.
(Pauses, then looks up grinning) Oh well... at least I'M gettin' outta this
dump!! (cheerfully skips to his room, whistling).
(upset) Why that little ungrateful son of a Jedi... he didn't used to act this
rude until you showed up.
(getting angry) Look woman, don't start with me again! You raised him. Don't
blame me for your feeble parenting skills!
(standing) Well, at least I was around to use what little parenting skills I
had, while you were out chasing freaks and green women across the galaxy!
(getting angrier, steps nearer to Shmi) That was Captain Kirk, you dimwit!!
(getting angry, steps closer to Qui-Gon) Oh that's right, blame someone else,
you lying, cheating, dead-beat dad!!
(stands right up against Shmi) Dead-beat dad?! How could I be a dead-beat dad
if I didn't even KNOW I was a dad?!
(standing on toes, getting right in Qui-Gon's face) Well maybe you would have,
if only you came back and married me like you promised! I mean, you could've
called or contacted me by comlink, the Force, something, anything!!
Darn it, woman!!
grabs Shmi and starts kissing her. She starts pushing away, but then embraces
him instead. After a long, slurpy kiss, Qui-Gon smiles at Shmi.
(arrogantly) There. You looked like you could use a good kiss. Say baby,
doesn't this kinda remind you of that night in Mos Eisley when...
has just groin-kicked Qui-Gon, again.
(walking into the kitchen) Yeah, now that you've mentioned it... it does!
ROOM Anakin is in his room, still whistling, and turns on C-3PO. Then he starts
packing a few things in a small backpack. C-3PO stares at him blankly.
Well 3-PO, I'm free... and soon, I'll fly away in a starship!
Master, you are my maker and I wish you well. Although I'd like it better if I
were a little less naked. I mean, this is pretty sh....
(interrupting) I'm sorry I wasn't able to finish you, 3-PO -- give you
coverings, manners, and all. I'm going to miss working on you. You've been a
great pal. I'll make sure Mom doesn't sell you or anything. Bye (runs out of
(watching Anakin leave the room) Sell me?! Wait, come back here, you little son
of a b.... (C-3PO suddenly shuts down, as Anakin forgot to recharge his power
ESPA - STREET - SLAVE QUARTERS Anakin walks away, following Qui-Gon, who is
still a little bent over and walking kinda funny. Then Anakin stops to look
back at his mother standing in the doorway. He turns and looks at Qui-Gon,
who's stopped to wait for him with this strange look of fear and pain on his
face. Anakin then turns back around and runs to his mother, who kneels down to
hug and kiss him.
(upset) I can't do it, Mom. I just can't do it.
(trying not to cry) Will I ever see you again?
What does your heart tell you?
I hope so... yes... I guess.
Then we will see each other again... I hope. (Thinks to herself, "why
hasn't Lucas called yet?")
I will come back and free you, Mom... I promise.
(looks down, trying not to cry, thinking "yeah, that would be cool... then
Lucas would HAVE to call me!" (takes a deep breath and looks back up to
Anakin) Now, be brave, and don't look back... don't look back.
stands, then turns Anakin around so he is facing Qui-Gon. With a gentle nudge,
she sends him off. Shmi sadly watches Anakin walk out of her life... then
slowly smiles as she realizes she can have her swinging singles lifestyle back
- DESERT MESA One of the probe droids returns and reports to Darth Maul. The
Sith Lord puts on his sunglasses, sets the remote control alarm on his ship,
then gets on a speeder bike and heads for Mos Espa.
- DESERT - NABOO SPACECRAFT Qui-Gon and Anakin are running toward the Naboo
spacecraft. Anakin is having a hard time keeping up.
Hey Qui-Gon, hold up!
turns around and sees a sinister figure bearing down on a speeder bike.
drops to the ground just as Darth Maul sweeps over him. The Sith back-flips off
his speeder bike into the air and comes swooping down on Qui-Gon, with his
lightsaber drawn. The Jedi quickly draws his lightsaber and a fierce duel
Anakin, get to the ship!! Tell Obi-Wan to get his butt out here, STAT!!!
struggles to fend off the relentless onslaught as Anakin races aboard the ship.
SPACECRAFT - COCKPIT Captain Panaka, Anakin and Padme rush into the cockpit
where Obi-Wan and Ric Olie are checking the hyperdrive.
Obi-Wan, Qui-Gon's in trouble!
(to Obi-Wan) He said for you to come out and help him!
(looks outside at the fight) Yeah right! I ain't going out there. (to Ric,
pointing outside) Over there. Fly low.
head for a small cloud of dust, where the battle is raging.
- DESERT - NABOO SPACECRAFT Qui-Gon and Darth Maul continue their ferocious
duel. As the ship arrives, Qui-Gon smacks Maul's sunglasses off. As Maul goes
to retrieve the glasses, Qui-Gon makes an incredible leap onto the ship's ramp.
The Naboo craft speeds away, leaving the Sith Lord standing alone, really
SPACECRAFT - HALLWAY Anakin and Obi-Wan rush into the hallway to find Qui-Gon
collapsed on the floor opposite the entry. The Jedi is breathing hard, covered
with sweat and dust.
Are you all right?
Yes, I think so.
What was it?
Hell, I don’t know! But it was well trained in the Jedi arts and... hey, where
was your butt anyway?! Didn't the boy tell you come out and help me?
What?! (looks at Anakin, puzzled) Oh, THAT'S what you were yelling about. (to
Qui-Gon) The boy was so overly excited and rambling on so, I couldn't
understand a word he was saying (laughs nervously). It just so happened I
looked out the window and saw the fighting... (looks back at Anakin, who's
appalled and starts to protest but is cut-off) Anyway, when I saw how badly
that guy was kicking your a... (notices Qui-Gon staring at him suspiciously).
Well, I... (holds head down) I... thought it best to fly over and rescue you.
(still looking at Obi-Wan skeptically) Yes, it's a good thing you just happened
to look out the window. I know you must be telling me the truth, my young
apprentice, because if you were lying, you would have to be punished...
punished very, very severely.
(gulps a bit) Yes, Master.
(sighs, getting frustrated with both Jedi) So what are we going to do about the
We will be patient. Anakin Skywalker, meet Obi-Wan Kenobi.
(sarcastically to Obi-Wan) Yeah, we met in the cockpit... REMEMBER?!
just gives the boy a dirty look, but finally fakes a smile after noticing
Qui-Gon glaring at him.
- THRONE ROOM - THEED Nute sits in a strange, mechanical chair, which walks
beside Sio Bibble. Rune follows a few steps behind. Droid guards surround
Your Queen is lost, your people are starving, and you, Governor, are going to
die, much sooner than your people, I'm afraid.
Die?! (starts trembling) Look, this has gone too far! I'm not sacrificing my
butt for this sorry little planet! I'll do what ever you want! Please, just
don't kill me... I'm too young to die... I've got fifteen children... my house
burned down last night... my dog died this morning... my speeder broke down
(disgusted with Bibble's sniveling) Take him away!
is taken away, still sniveling, as the droid commander approaches Nute.
My troops are in position to begin searching the swamps for these rumored
underwater villages. They will not stay hidden for long.
SPACECRAFT - MAIN AREA The ship is asleep. The lights are dim as Padme walks into
the main room. She goes to a monitor and watches the Bibble plea recording,
noticing how shaky the transmission looks. Jar Jar is stretched out in a chair,
snoring. Padme appears upset. She senses someone watching her and turns around
to see Anakin sitting in the corner staring at her -- shivering, looking sad
You all right?
It's very cold.
(picks up a blanket, walks over to Anakin, covers him and sits next to him) You
come from a warm planet, Annie. A little too warm for my taste. Space is cold.
You seem sad and tired.
(yawns) I'm, I mean, THE QUEEN, is worried. My, I mean, HER, people are
suffering... dying. (big yawn) I, I mean, SHE, must convince the Senate to
intervene, or... crap! I'M tired! (Leans back against wall and half closes her
(pulls something from his pocket) I made this for you. So you'd remember me. I
carved it out of a japor snippet... it will bring you good fortune.
hands a wooden pendant to Padme. She inspects it and thinks to herself
"man, how cheap! Eh, I’ll just save it and give it to Panaka for
You shouldn't have... really. I don't need this to remember you by. Many things
will change when we reach the capital, Annie. But my caring for you will always
remain. (Yawns again and leans back against the wall, closing her eyes
I care for you too... (sadly looks down) only I... miss... I miss... my mommy.
Every night, she would read me a story and sing the "Itsy-bitsy Spider"
song. I'm missing her terribly right now and I don't know what to do (starts to
cry). Do you think that maybe you could sing the...
interrupts with loud snoring. Anakin looks up at her, rolls his eyes, then
turns over and goes to sleep.
- CITYSCAPE - NABOO SPACECRAFT It's morning, as the spacecraft flies over the
endless cityscape of Coruscant, the capital of the galaxy. Anakin looks out the
cockpit window in awe.
OLIE: Coruscant! The entire planet is one big city. There's Chancellor
Valorum's shuttle. And look, there's Senator Palpatine waiting for...
(loudly interrupting) Wow, look... there's McDonald's!!
ship flies through the cityscape of Coruscant, toward the Senate landing
- SENATE LANDING PLATFORM Supreme Chancellor Valorum, several guards and
Senator Palpatine stand on the landing platform. The sleek Naboo spacecraft
lands on the platform high above the street level of the galactic capital. The
ramp lowers. Obi-Wan, Qui-Gon, Jar Jar and Anakin descend the ramp first and
bow before Palpatine and Valorum. Captain Panaka, two guards, Queen Amidala,
Padme, the handmaidens and more guards descend the ramp. Amidala stops before
the group. Padme smiles at Anakin, who smiles back. Palpatine smiles at the
It is a great gift to see you alive, Your Majesty. With the communications
breakdown, we've been very concerned. May I present Supreme Chancellor Valorum.
Welcome, Your Highness. It is an honor to finally meet you in person. I must
relay to you how distressed everyone is over the current situation. I've called
for a special session of the Senate to hear your posi...
Yada, yada, yada. (nonchalantly) Look, I'm grateful for your concern,
Chancellor... (puts a piece of candy in her mouth) Really I am. (Hands Valorum
the empty wrapper and walks away).
Well, I never!!
smirks at Valorum, then turns to lead Queen Amidala and her staff toward the
waiting shuttle. Then Anakin sees one of the Queen's long, dangling diamond
earrings fall to the ground. But before he can say anything, Palpatine sneakily
swoops it up and puts it into his pocket.
There is a question of procedure, but I feel confident we can overcome it...
and Qui-Gon stay behind with the Supreme Chancellor.
(still upset, watching Amidala board the shuttle) Did you see what that silly
teenager just did?!
Uh, yeah. Your Honor, I must speak with the Jedi Council immediately. The
situation has become more complicated.
QUARTERS Queen Amidala is sitting, listening to Senator Palpatine. The
handmaidens stand behind her. Anakin and Jar Jar are waiting outside in an
adjoining room. Captain Panaka enters and goes into the room with the Queen. Palpatine
is pacing as Panaka enters.
There is no civility, only politics. The Republic is not what it once was. The
Senate is full of greedy, squabbling delegates. There is no interest in the
common good. I must be frank, Your Majesty. There is little chance the Senate
will act on the invasion.
Chancellor Valorum seems to think there is hope.
If I may say, Your Majesty, the Chancellor has little real power... he is mired
down by baseless accusations of corruption. Besides, I think you may have
really pissed him off back there at the landing platform.
Oh. Yeah. Well, what other options have we? (Starts rubbing her left ear and
discovers the earring missing).
Our best choice would be to push for the election of a stronger Supreme
Chancellor. One who will control the bureaucrats, and give us justice. You...
could... call for a vote of no confidence in Chancellor Valorum.
He's been our strongest supporter. Well, he WAS our strongest supporter (Starts
looking around at the floor).
Our only other choice would to be to submit a plea to the courts...
The courts take even longer to decide things than the Senate. Our people are
dying, Senator. We must do something quickly to stop the Federation. (Starts
looking under coffee table).
To be realistic, Your Majesty, I'd say we're going to have to accept Federation
control for the time being. Uh... pardon me, but did you lose something?
(still searching) Why yes, one of my favorite and most valuable diamond
earrings. The only other pair I have with me are those cheap cubic zirconias
from the Galactic Shopping Network. I've got to find it... it must be here,
somewhere! (looks up to Palpatine) Have you seen it, Senator?
(sadly) Why no, my dear. This is a great tragedy, indeed. I'm afraid you'll
just have to do with the other pair... or don't accessorize at all.
That is something I cannot do.
TEMPLE OF THE JEDI A unique building with tall
spires stands out against the Coruscant skyline. A small transport passes by
the vast temple. Qui-Gon stands in a tall stately room. Twelve Jedi leaders sit
in a semi-circle. Obi-Wan stands behind Qui-Gon in the center of the room. The
Senior Jedi is Mace Windu. To to his right is Jedi Master Yoda, and seated next
to him is a Jedi named Ki-Adi-Mundi.
He was trained in the Jedi arts. My only conclusion can be that it was a Sith
Impossible! The Sith have been extinct for a millennium.
I do not believe they could have returned without us knowing.
Ah... hard to see, the dark side is.
We will use all our resources here to unravel this mystery and discover the
identity of your attacker. May the Force be with you.
turns to leave, but Qui-Gon continues to face the Council.
Master Qui-Gon, more to say have you?
With your permission, my Master. I have encountered a vergence in the Force.
A vergence, you say?
Located around a person?
A boy... his cells have the highest concentration of midi-chlorians I have seen
in a life form (mumbles to himself "well, except mine"). It is
possible he was conceived by the midi-chlorians.
(smirks) Yeah right! That's just a bunch of hooey, invented to be an opiate of
the people... (notices the other Council members staring at him in shock) Uh,
well, that's according to those evil, lying, Communist Siths! Darn Red Menace!
Fortunately, we don't believe any of that Sith-commie crap here, do we boys?
(The other members begin whispering to one another, while eyeing Mace). Uh...
(nervously, to Qui-Gon) Anyway, the uh, current threat to our Republic is
coming from this Phantom Menace you described earlier (notices the other
Council members are still more interested in him than in Qui-Gon) So... uh...
you refer to the prophesy of the one who will bring balance to the Force...
(loudly) you uh, believe it's this boy?!
others finally fix their attention back on Qui-Gon.
I don't presume...
But you do! Revealed, your opinion is.
I request the boy be tested.
Jedi all look to one another.
Oh, trained as a Jedi, you request for him hmm?
Finding him was the will of the Force... I have no doubt of that.
(sighs and holds his head down) Bring him before us, then.
bows and leaves the room with Obi-Wan.
(whispering to Qui-Gon, looking back at Mace) Man, he really looks beat. Maybe
I should ask him if he'd like some Proz...
You'd better stop passing those things out. You've already reached your maximum
prescription allowance for this year.
(watches Obi-Wan and Qui-Gon leave, then turns to Mace) Wondering, the others
and I were... taken the Republic Loyalty Oath, have you?
(worriedly) Of course I have. Come on you guys, gimme a break! (laughs
nervously) Next thing, you'll be asking me if I was ever a member of the Sith
QUEENS QUARTERS - CORUSCANT Anakin walks down a long
hallway in Senator Palpatine's apartment. He stops before a door that is
flanked by a guard.
(into comlink) The boy is here to see Padme.
Let him come in.
doors open, and Anakin enters the Queen's quarters. The Queen speaks out of the
Who is it?
Anakin Skywalker, to see Padme, Your Highness.
Queen moves into the doorway and looks at Anakin, who bows.
I've sent Padme on an errand.
I'm on my way to the Jedi temple to start my training, I hope. I may never see
her again... so I came to say good-bye.
We will tell her for you. We're sure her heart goes with you.
Thank you, Your Highness. (nervously) Uhmmm, about what you were talking about
with the Senator earlier. I know who took your...
door opens and Palpatine enters.
(bowing to the Queen) Ah, Your Majesty. I've come to escort you to the shuttle.
Thank you, Senator. I'll be out in a moment.
Queen disappears behind the doorway. Palpatine looks around and notices Anakin
staring at him... and the pocket where he put the earring.
Well young man, you'd better be running along... it's almost time for
Teletubbies (pats Anakin's head, with a fake laugh; the boy rolls his eyes and
leaves the room).
- GALACTIC SENATE BUILDING A large, distinctive looking domed building stands
out amid the cityscape of Coruscant. Inside, the Senate chamber is huge.
Thousands of Senators and their Aides sit in the circular assembly area.
Chancellor Valorum sits in an elevated area in the center. Senator Palpatine,
Queen Amidala, Rabe and Captain Panaka sit in the Naboo congressional platform,
which floats like a small, round speeder.
The Chair recognizes the Senator from the sovereign system of Naboo.
Naboo congressional box floats into the center of the chamber.
Supreme Chancellor, delegates of the Senate. A tragedy has occurred which
started right here with the taxation of trade routes... and has now engulfed
our entire planet in the oppression of the Trade Federation.
second box rushes into the center of the Senate. It is filled with Federation
trade barons led by Lott Dod, the Senator for the Federation, who happens to
sound kinda like another Senator Lott, from Mississippi.
DOD: This is, I say, this is outrageous! I object to this here Senator's
(whispers to aide) Is "scandalourious" even a word? (to Lott) The
Chair does not recognize the Senator from the Trade Federation at this time.
To state our allegations, I present Queen Amidala, the recently elected ruler
of Naboo, who speaks on our behalf.
Amidala stands to address the assembly.
Honorable representatives of the Republic. I come to you under the gravest of
circumstances. Naboo has been invaded by the Droid Armies of the Trade...
DOD: Now just one cotton-pickin' minute here! I object, dog-gonnit! There ain't
no kinda proof. This is incredible. That dog just won't hunt! We recommend a
commission be sent to Naboo to ascertain the truthfulness of that there
third box representing Malastare moves into the center of the room. Aks Moe,
the Ambassador, addresses the convention.
MOE: The Congress of Malastare concurs with the honorable delegate from the
Trade Federation. A commission must be appointed.
The point... (covers microphone).
confers with Vice Chairman Mas Amedda. Palpatine whispers to the Queen.
(eyeing the Queen's other loosely hanging earring) Enter the bureaucrats, the
true rulers of the Republic, and on the payroll of the Trade Federation, I
might add. This is where Chancellor Valorum's strength will disappear.
The point is conceded. Will you defer your motion to allow a commission to
explore the validity of your accusations?
I will not defer! (Sternly bangs hand on console, causing the other earring to
fall off, which is caught with split-second precision by Palpatine). I have
come before you to resolve this attack on our sovereignty now. I was not
elected to watch my people suffer and die while you discuss this invasion in a
committee. If this body is not capable of action, I suggest new leadership is
needed. I move for a "vote of no confidence" in Chancellor Valorum's
What the...?! Why you little two-faced, double-crossing, back-stabbing, silly
causes a great stir in the assembly. A loud murmur crescendos into a roar of
approval and chants of "vote now, vote now!". Chancellor Valorum
collapses in his chair, cursing the Queen. His Vice Chair, Mas Amedda, takes
(to Queen, while slipping the second earring into his pocket) Now they will
elect a new Chancellor. A strong Chancellor. One who will not let our tragedy
continue... or call you rude names.
PALACE OF THE JEDI - BALCONY Obi-Wan and Qui-Gon
walk outside the palace onto a balcony, as the sun sets over the city.
The boy will not pass the Council's tests, Master. He is too old.
Anakin will become a Jedi... I promise you.
Come on, don't defy the Council, Master... not again!
I shall do what I must, Obi-Wan.
(angrily) You know, if you would just stop being such a stubborn old goat and
follow the code, you would be on the Council by now! You need to start worrying
about your future, man! You're sure not getting any younger, you know!!
(puts his hand on Obi-Wan's shoulder and squeezes hard, as the apprentice
winces in pain) You just don't know when to shut-up, do you, my young
PALACE OF THE JEDI - COUNCIL CHAMBERS Anakin
stands before the Twelve Jedi. Mace Windu, his chest now covered with patriotic
badges and ribbons, holds a small hand-held viewing screen. Various images
appear across the screen.
A ship. A cup. A ship. A… speeder.
turns the viewing screen off and nods toward Yoda.
Hmmm... how feel you?
Afraid are you?
(smirks) Of you? No way!
What?! Judge me by my size, do you? Come over there and spank your rude little
butt, I will. "Annie"!
whole Council starts laughing. Anakin holds his head down, very upset. Then has
another vision, again set far in the future. This time the guy in the black
outfit has just rolled a thermal detonator into the Council Chamber. It
explodes, making quite a mess. Anakin slowly raises his head, wearing a
sinister smile, which starts to bother the Council members.
Uh, be mindful of your feelings.
Your, erm, thoughts dwell on your mother.
I miss her.
Afraid to lose her... I think, hmmm?
(angrily) What's that got to do with anything?
Everything! Fear is the path to the dark side. Fear leads to anger... anger
leads to hate... hate leads to suffering! I sense much fear in you.
(rolls eyes) Fear, anger, hate, suffering... yeah, right! Well check this out:
you guys are really starting to "scare" me... and "piss" me
off! I "hate" your guts! I hope you all "suffer" and die!!
(Storms out of the room).
(looks over to Mace, smugly) So told you, I did!
QUARTERS Queen Amidala is staring out the window with Jar Jar. As the sun
disappears, the lights of the city shimmer before them. The handmaidens stand
near the door. Jar Jar senses the Queen's apprehension.
JAR: Yousa tinken yousa people gonna die?
Huh? Oh, yeah... that. (Thinking to herself "man, I can't believe BOTH
earrings are missing!")
JAR: Gungans gonna get pasted too, eh?
I hope so... I mean, not.
JAR: Gungans no die'n without a fight... weesa warriors. Weesa gotta grand
army. Dat why you no liken us, meesa tinks.
Actually, I could go down a list of reasons.
Palpatine and Captain Panaka rush into the room and bow before the Queen.
Your Highness, Senator Palpatine has been nominated to succeed Valorum as
A surprise, to be sure, but a welcome one. Your Majesty, if I am elected, I
promise I will put an end to corruption... and buy you a new pair of earrings.
What kind of earrings?
Only the very best diamonds for Your Majesty.
Well in that case, good luck! Who else has been nominated?
Bail Antilles of Alderaan and Ainlee Teem of
I feel confident our "situation" will create a strong sympathy vote
for us. I will be Chancellor.
I fear by the time you have control of the bureaucrats, Senator, there will be
nothing left of our people, our way of life, our diamond mines...
I understand your concern, Your Majesty. Unfortunately, the Federation has
possession of our planet.
Senator, this is your arena. I feel I must return to mine. I have decided to go
back to Naboo.
Go back?! But, Your Majesty, be realistic! They'll force you to sign the
I will sign no treaty, Senator. Despite the risk, I must go back. I can no
longer bear the thought of those slimy jerks rummaging through all my stuff!
Yes, Your Highness?
Ready my ship.
Please, Your Majesty, stay here where it's safe.
It is clear to me now that the Republic no longer functions. I pray you will
bring sanity and compassion back to the Senate. And keep an eye-out for my
missing earrings, would you?
and her staff exit the room. Palpatine sadly watches them leave, then walks
over to a mirror. He takes the earrings out of his pocket and puts them on.
Then the Senator starts posing, with a self-satisfied smile on his face.
TEMPLE OF THE JEDI - COUNCIL CHAMBERS It is
evening. Anakin, Obi-Wan and Qui-Gon stand before the members of the Jedi
The Force is strong with him.
He's to be trained, then.
No. He will not be trained.
(angrily yelling) No?! Are you guys nuts?!
looks away, smirking.
Look, he is too old... and very rude, with a temper almost as bad as yours!
(angrily glares at Mace) What temper?! (tries to calm down) Oh yeah, that.
Look, I'm working on it, okay?! (nervously clears throat) Anyway... Anakin is
the chosen one... you must see it!
Hmmm... clouded, this boy's future is.
(angrily yelling, again) Fine!! Forget all y'all, then!! I'll train him
myself!! I take Anakin as my Padawan learner!! (Puts hands on Anakin's
An apprentice, you have, Qui-Gon. Impossible, to take on a second.
The code forbids it! And if you don't stop yelling, I'm gonna start reciting
some scripture, then go medieval on your a...
(nervously interrupts, trying to calm down again) I'm sorry, Master Jedi... but
Obi-Wan is ready.
(looks confused at Qui-Gon) I am? (Qui-Gon glares back) Oh, yeah. Right. I am
ready to face the trials.
Our own counsel will we keep on who's ready.
He is headstrong, and somewhat obnoxious. And he has much to learn about
prescription drug abuse. (Looks over at Obi-Wan, who is opening his bottle of
Prozac). But he is capable. There is little more he can learn from me.
(pops pills in mouth, looks over to see Qui-Gon staring at him) What?
just turns away, shaking his head.
Young Skywalker's fate will be decided later.
Look Qui-Gon, now is not the time for this crap! The Senate is voting for a new
Supreme Chancellor and Queen Amidala is returning home, which will put pressure
on the Federation and could widen the confrontation.
And draw out the Queen's attacker.
Go with the Queen to Naboo and discover the identity of the dark warrior. That
is the clue we need to unravel this mystery of the Sith.
May the Force be with you.
Qui-Gon and Anakin leave.
- SENATE LANDING PLATFORM Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan are talking. A few yards away,
Anakin pretends to be examining R2-D2, while trying to eavesdrop on the Jedi's
conversation. Unfortunately, R2's beeping and squeaking is making it hard for
the boy to hear.
It is not disrespect, Master, it is the truth.
From your point of view.
The boy is a rotten little brat. They all see it. Why can't you?
(angrily) He is not a brat! You ought to be ashamed of yourself, Obi-Wan. It's
clear that you simply don't like the boy! You act as if you're jealous or
(upset) Jealous?! That's ridiculous! I, I don't feel the least bit threatened
by that little... besides, you're spending so much time with him now, maybe I
should just give HIM this stupid haircut and my robes, and call it quits!!
(starts crying) I thought you wanted ME for your apprentice! But no, as soon as
I turn my back, you replace me, just like that! (hysterically) I feel so cheap,
so used! Just another on a list of your many padawans! I thought I meant
something more to you!! (takes hankerchief out and blows nose, hard) Now you’re
gonna just toss me away, like this dirty, used hanky!! (Throws hanky over
platform edge, down on the unsuspecting pedestrians on the street below) You
love him, don't you?! (Qui-Gon slowly nods, while looking disgusted with
Obi-Wan). Okay, fine. (starts calming down, sniffing) I understand. When we
come back from Naboo, I won't get in the way!
(indignantly) WHAT?! Why, you sick little... the boy is my SON!!!
(embarrassed, nervously starts playing with braid) Oh... really?! Oh... yeah. I
knew that. I could tell... you two do kinda look alike... and he does have your
(raises hand to smack Obi-Wan, who cowers) What temper?! (points at Obi-Wan)
Listen you, the Council would re-assign me to some desk job, if they knew I had
a kid to take care of! So if you tell anyone about Anakin, I'll...
Punish me very, very severely?
Yes! (folds arms) Or, maybe I'll just get rid of YOUR butt instead. I'll talk
to Yoda about assigning you to, oh I don't know... Tatooine, maybe? You can
just live out the rest of your days as a crazy old man, wandering the desert,
chasing Tusken Raiders. Who knows, maybe someday a princess will even ask you
to come and help her. If you're lucky, you may get to go on one last adventure
before you finally dry-up and fade away!
(stunned, then starts to laugh nervously) Oh Master, you're such a great
kidder! (stops laughing when he notices Qui-Gon isn't laughing) Uh... Master,
your secret IS safe with me.
Good! See that it stays that way. Now get your little twisted butt on board the
bows and quickly boards the Naboo spacecraft followed by R2-D2. Anakin goes
over to Qui-Gon.
Qui-Gon, sir. I don't wanna to be a problem.
You won't be, Anakin. I'm not allowed to train you. Anyway, Obi-Wan would have
a cow even if I tried, so I want you to watch me and be mindful. Always
remember, your focus determines your reality. Stay close to me, my son, and you
will be safe.
And that's another thing. Don't call me Master, or Sir, or Lord.
(confused) Well, what should I call you, then?
Oh, I don't know... how about something a little less formal. Like, ah...
"dad". Yeah, I like that. Just call me "dad" from now on,
okay? (Rubs Anakin's head).
(cautiously, because he thinks Qui-Gon's losing it again) Ooo-kay,
"dad". Anyway, I heard Yoda talking about midi-chlorians. I've been
wondering... what are midi-chlorians?
Well, my son, midi-chlorians are a microscopic life form that reside within all
They live inside me?
Inside your cells, yes. We are symbionts with them.
Life forms living together for mutual advantage. Without the midi-chlorians,
life could not exist and we would have no knowledge of the Force. They
continually speak to us, telling us the will of the Force. When you learn to
quiet your mind, you will hear them speaking to you.
(smirks) You really believe that crap?
(sneers and looks away) Are you kidding?! I just go along with it so I don't
have to keep taking those stupid Republic Loyalty Oaths.
and Anakin share a rare father-son laugh together. Qui-Gon continues to smile
at the boy, as two shuttles pull up. Captain Panaka, two dozen troops, guards
and officers walk briskly toward the ship, followed by Queen Amidala, Padme,
Eirtae, and finally, Jar Jar. Amidala and her handmaidens stop before Qui-Gon.
Your Highness, it is our pleasure to continue to serve and protect you.
I welcome your help. Senator Palpatine fears the Federation means to destroy
I assure you, I will not let that happen.
Qui-Gon, Anakin and the others enter the ship, followed by Jar Jar.
JAR: Weesa goen home!
Jar Jar boards the ship, he does some kinda goofy "happy dance",
until he slips and falls off the edge of the ramp, hitting the ground, hard.
Dazed, he finally staggers on board the ship, which takes off for Naboo.
- THRONE ROOM - THEED Nute and Rune stand before a hologram of Darth Sidious.
SIDIOUS: Is the planet secure?
(studying the hologram, perplexed) We haaave taken ooover the last pockeeets of
primiiitive life forms. We are in cooomplete controool of the plaaanet now.
SIDIOUS: What? Oh, yes, yes. Good. I will see to it that in the Senate, things
stay as they are. I am sending my apprentice, Darth Maul, to join you.
Yeees, my Looord (looks over at Rune, who's seems equally confused).
So now he's wearing earrings?
Yes, and what's worse... I think he winked at me!
- NABOO SPACECRAFT COCKPIT Anakin stands next to Ric Olie, pointing to various
buttons and gauges.
And that one?
OLIE: Those are the forward stabilizers.
And those control the pitch?
OLIE: You catch on pretty quick. (Thinks to himself "man, this kid sure
does ask a lotta nosey questions!")
SPACECRAFT - QUEEN'S CHAMBERS The handmaidens stand behind Queen Amidala as she
talks with Qui-Gon and Captain Panaka. Obi-Wan and Jar Jar watch.
As soon as we land the Federation will arrest you and force you to sign the
I agree. I'm not sure what you wish to accomplish by this.
I'm going to take back my stuff!
(looks worriedly at the Queen, wondering if Bibble was right about this
"silly teenager" thing) Uh... there are too few of us, Your Highness.
We have no army.
And I can only protect you. I cannot fight a war for you.
Jar Jar Binks!
Jar looks around, puzzled.
(sighs and rolls eyes) Who else?! Look, I need your help.
CRUISER COCKPIT The Naboo Cruiser heads toward the lush green planet. There is
only one Federation battle cruiser orbiting. Obi-Wan and Captain Panaka spot it
on the view screen.
OLIE: I have one battleship on my scope.
It's a droid control ship.
They've probably spotted us.
We haven't much time.
The Naboo spacecraft has landed in the Gungan swamp. Troops unload the ships in
the background as Obi-Wan approaches Qui-Gon.
Jar Jar is on his way to the Gungan city, Master.
Do you think the Queen's idea will work? (Qui-Gon just smirks at Obi-Wan)
I'm... I'm sorry for my behavior earlier, Master. I'm usually not prone to
crying fits like that... well, as long as I keep my prescriptions filled. I
just want to reassure you that your secret is safe. And I am grateful you think
I'm ready to take the trials.
(hesitantly) Err, yes... about the trials, Obi-Wan. Actually, I DON'T think
you're ready. I was just feeding Windu some much-deserved BS. You've been a
good apprentice, Obi-Wan... well, most of the time. But I wouldn't hold my
breath waiting for YOU to be knighted.
smugly walks away, as Obi-Wan sticks his tongue out at him, this time while
giving him the finger. Qui-Gon spins around quickly, but Obi-Wan's still
faster, as he pretends to be cleaning his fingernails.
SWAMP LAKE Jar Jar exits the swamp lake and walks over to Captain Panaka,
Obi-Wan and Qui-Gon. Queen Amidala, Padme, the handmaidens, Anakin, R2-D2, four
pilots and eight guards stand in the background near the starship.
JAR: Dare-sa nobody dare. Da Gungan city is deserted. All gone. Some kinda
fight, me tink.
Do you think they have been taken to camps?
More than likely they were wiped out.
JAR: No... meesa no tink so. Gungan hiden.
Do you know where they are?
JAR: When in trouble, Gungans go to sacred place. Meesa show you, come on,
meesa show you.
group follows Jar Jar as he moves through the swamp.
SACRED TEMPLE RUINS Jar Jar, Queen Amidala, Anakin, Captain Panaka, Qui-Gon,
Obi-Wan, Padme and the rest of the group are found by Captain Tarpals, who
leads them to a clearing full of Gungan refugees. At the far end are the ruins
of a grand temple with massive carved heads. Boss Nass and several other
Council members walk out on the top of a three-quarter-submerged head.
Your Honor, Queen Amidala of the Naboo.
JAR: Ah, hello dare de big Boss Nass, Your Honor.
NASS: Jar Jar Binks. Who's da uss-en others?!
I am Queen Amidala of the Naboo. I come before you in peace.
NASS: Ah, Naboo biggen. Yousa bringen da Mackineeks. Yousa all bombad.
(angrily) What?! Look, we have searched your butt out, 'cause we wish to form
an alliance to fight the Trade Federation. And now you're gonna start acting a
fool, you frog-faced...
Padme steps forward.
NASS: Whosa dis?
I am Queen Amidala. (points to other "Queen") This is my decoy... my
protection... my loyal, if somewhat rude, bodyguard.
is stunned. Obi-Wan and Qui-Gon try to fool each other with a knowing look,
when neither one of them knew Padme was really the Queen.
I am sorry for my deception, but it was necessary to protect myself. Although
we do not always agree, Your Honor, our two great societies have always lived
in peace. The Trade Federation has destroyed all that we have worked so hard to
build. If we do not act quickly, all of our stuff will be lost forever. I ask
you to help us. No, I BEG you to help us (drops to her knees before Boss Nass).
We are your humble servants. Our fate is in your hands.
Captain Panaka, his troops, the handmaidens, Anakin, Jar Jar and the Jedi bow
down before the Gungan Council. The Gungans are puzzled by this. There is an
uneasy silence as everyone waits to hear from Boss Nass. Finally, Nass begins
NASS: HAAAAA!! HAAAAA!! HAAAAA!! Yousa no tinken yousa greater den da Gungans?
Hee, hee, meesa like dis. Maybe weesa start bein friends. (shakes head wildly,
slobbering everywhere, hitting everyone. Disgusted, they wipe the slobber off
themselves) Ooops! Meesa so sorry.
- THRONE ROOM Nute, Rune and Darth Maul stand before a hologram of Darth
We've seeent out patroools. We've alreeeady locaaated their staaarship in the
swamp. It wooon't be looong, My Looord.
SIDIOUS: What? Oh, yes, yes. This is an unexpected move for her, the silly
teenager. It's too aggressive. Lord Maul, be mindful. Be patient. Let them make
the first move.
MAUL: Yes, my Master. (smiles) Oh, and by the way, I do love your new earrings.
SIDIOUS: (surprised) What?! Oh, bugger! (Struggles to take the earrings off, as
the hologram fades away).
EDGE OF SWAMP/GRASS PLAINS A Gungan sentry sits on top of the ancient temple
head, searching the landscape with a pair of electrobinoculars. He sees
something and yells down to Anakin at the foot of the statue.
SENTRY: Daza comen!
All right. They're here!
yells and runs over to Padme and the Jedi, who are discussing a battle plan.
Four speeders pull up to the group. Captain Panaka and a dozen or so guards and
pilots pile out and join the group. Boss Nass walks up to Jar Jar and puts his
arm around him.
NASS: Yousa doen grand. Jar Jar bringen Gungans and da Naboo together.
JAR: (blushing) Oh, no, no, no...
NASS: So, weesa maken yousa Bombad General.
JAR: General?! Oh, no...
Jar's eyes roll back and his tongue flops out as he faints. Boss Nass jumps
back out of the way, letting Jar Jar hit the ground, hard. Then he laughs and
walks over to Padme and the others.
What is the situation?
Almost everyone's in camps. A few hundred police and guards have formed an
underground resistance movement. I brought as many of the leaders as I could.
The Federation Army's also much larger than we thought... and much stronger.
Your Highness, this is a battle I do not think that we can win.
The battle is a diversion. The Gungans must draw the Droid Army away from the
cities. R2. (R2 projects a hologram layout of Theed Palace).
We can enter the city using the secret passages on the waterfall side. Once we
get to the main entrance, Captain Panaka will create a diversion, then we can
enter the palace and capture the Viceroy. Without the Viceroy, they will be
lost and confused.
and Obi-Wan look on with interest.
(dubiously) Hmmm... well, I think that the Viceroy will be too well guarded,
Someone correct me if I'm wrong, but I distinctly remember NOT asking what you
think, Master Jedi!
glares at Padme, while Obi-Wan chuckles.
The difficulty's getting into the throne room. Once we're inside, we shouldn't
have a problem.
(still glaring at Padme) There is a possibility with this diversion many
Gungans will be killed!
Your point being? (sighs) Besides, we already have a plan which should
immobilize the Droid Army. We'll send what pilots we have to knock out the
Droid control ship orbiting the planet.
(snidely) Good luck! You're gonna need it... considering the weapons on your
puny little fighters may not even penetrate the shields.
What?! Oh man, you've got a gloom and doom reply to everything I say! (throws
hands up) Alright, fine! Everybody, let's call it quits and go home. Master
Jedi here says it's just not safe enough to go fight for our stuff! Oh wait! I
just remembered... we've been forced outta OUR homes! Well, gee... I guess
we've just gotta muster a little courage and fight!
is furious. He walks over to Obi-Wan, who's now laughing hysterically, and Gibbs
slaps him on the back of his head, hard. Then he walks up to Padme, nostrils
Alright, Buffy! You'd better be right about this! If I get killed, I'm coming
back to haunt you, (turns to Obi-Wan) AND you!!
(confused) "Buffy"? Who's Buffy?!
(frightened) "Haunt" me?!
just turns and walks away from both of them.
- THRONE ROOM Nute, Rune, Darth Maul and a hologram of Darth Sidious walk
through the throne room.
SIDIOUS: She's more silly than I thought.
Weee are seeendng all troops to meeet this aaarmy of hers asseeembling near the
swaaamp. It appeeears to be made up of priiimitives.
SIDIOUS: What? Oh, yes, yes. Good. This will work to our advantage...
I haaave your approooval to proceeed then, My Looord?
SIDIOUS: What? Oh, yes, yes. Wipe them out. All of them.
Gungan army heads out of the swamp and onto the rolling grassy hills. Hundreds
of Gungan warriors march toward the horizon. Captain Tarpals sees the
Federation's tanks, mumbles something profane, and orders a halt. The Gungans
are spread out in a large line.
Energize the shield!!
huge blue ray shoots out of a generator and blasts into a large dish on the
back of a very large, lizard-like Faamba and spreads like an umbrella over the
assembled warriors. The Federation tanks move up to a ridge and stop. The droid
commander looks at the assembled Gungan army.
They must be kidding. Open fire!!
- CENTRAL PLAZA Padme, Obi-Wan, Qui-Gon, Anakin
and R2 stealthily make their way toward the entrance to the main hangar. They
are followed by about twenty Naboo guards, pilots and troops. They stop and
Padme uses a small red laser light to signal across the plaza to Captain
Panaka, Rabe and twenty Naboo troops. They signal back. Qui-Gon leans over to
Once we get inside, Anakin, you find a safe place to hide and stay there.
Aw, c'mon, I'm not a little...
Don't talk back now... you don't want to make daddy angry, now do you?
No, "dad" (rolls eyes as Qui-Gon rubs his head again).
troops mill about the tank-filled plaza. Naboo soldiers open fire on the battle
droids. At the far end of the plaza, several droids begin to return fire. Padme
and her group rush into the main hangar.
- CENTRAL HANGAR Alarms are sounding as Padme, the Jedi, Anakin and the troops
rush into the hangar. Battle
droids begin firing at them as they run for cover. Padme and the Jedi destroy
several droids. Qui-Gon yells to Anakin to take cover, as Padme signals to her
Get to your ships!!
pilots and their R2 units scramble aboard the Naboo fighters in the hangar bay.
Anakin tries to hide behind a large container, but flees after it's hit by
laser fire. He climbs into a nearby fighter and watches the ongoing battle. The
Naboo fleet leaves the planet and heads toward the space station. As the fleet
approaches the station, dozens of Federation fighters exit their hangars and
- CENTRAL HANGAR PADME: (to Captain Panaka) My guess is the Viceroy is in the
(signals his troops) Red Group, Blue Group... everybody, this way!!
head for the main exit, on the way passing Anakin, who stands up in the fighter
cockpit and yells out to them.
Hey! Wait for me!
No, Anakin, you stay there. What did daddy tell you?
(angrily points at Anakin) Right! That's it, young man! We'll discuss your
punishment when I get back!
head for the exit. Suddenly the door opens, revealing Darth Maul standing in
the way, wearing a taped-up pair of broken sunglasses. Panaka, Padme and her
troops freeze. Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan step forward.
(smiling) We'll handle this.
We'll go the long way.
and the others turn and head for a side exit.
I see you found your sunglasses. (points at Maul) Now I'm gonna finish teaching
your menacing butt a lesson!
(overly-excited, bouncing up and down) Yeah man, we're gonna kick your Sith ass!
MAUL: Bring it on, pretty boy! (Slowly grins).
Maul and the two Jedi take off their robes and ignite their lightsabers. Both
ends of Maul's sword light up.
A two-sided lightsaber? Is that fair?!
MAUL: Two Jedi? Is that fair?!
Jedi begin to fight the Sith Lord, while at the far end of the hangar, three
destroyer droids roll in and transform into their battle position. Anakin
watches as the droids fire on Padme's group.
droids' heavy fire have the group pinned down.
We gotta do something, R2.
whistles a reply. Suddenly, the ship's systems go on, and the ship begins to
levitate. R2 continues to beep at Anakin.
I'm trying to! I don't know where the trigger is! (pushes a button and the ship
begins to turn toward the destroyer droids) Oops, wrong one. Maybe this one...
(the glove compartment opens and a pack of cigarettes fall out, which Anakin
slips into his pocket after looking around). Wait, here it is. (Pushes a second
button and the hatch closes. Then lasers begin to fire, wiping out the droids, as
R2 whistles a cheer) Yeah!!
Let's go!! (leads the group out of the hangar, into the palace).
(nervously starts flipping various switches, as the fighter begins to taxi out
of the hangar) Uh... it's on automatic pilot. (Puts helmet on, as the ship
flies out of the hangar, headed into space) Try to override it!
the Jedi are engaged in a fierce battle with Darth Maul. The Sith Lord's moves
are incredible. He is fighting both Jedi at once, flipping into the air,
outmaneuvering them at every turn, while managing to keep his sunglasses on.
Then he kicks Qui-Gon down to the floor.
MAUL: Your powers are weak, old man!
"Old man"?! (Infuriated, he jumps up and charges Maul).
Qui-Gon returns to the fight, Obi-Wan is knocked across the floor. After
mumbling a few rude words, he quickly rejoins his Master. Both Jedi battle Maul
to the edge of a high platform. The Jedi close in for the kill.
(pointing lightsaber at Maul) Ha-ha! Your little tattooed butt is mine!
Sith Lord grins, then back-flips across to the other side. The Jedi look at
each other dumbfounded, then jump over to Maul. Their fierce combat continues.
STARFIGHTER - COCKPIT ANAKIN: Look! There they are! That's where the autopilot
is taking us.
fighter flies toward the Federation Battleship and he finds himself in the
middle of the space battle. A ship explodes behind him.
This is tense! I need a smoke. (takes out the pack of cigarettes).
starts beeping and squawking wildly at Anakin.
Whadya mean "causes cancer and emphysema"? The ads say that
cigarettes are cool and really make the chicks dig you! (looks forward to see
enemy ships approaching head on; panics and spills the cigarettes on the
floor). Aw, crap!! R2, get us off autopilot, so we can get outta here!
screams a reply.
You did it, R2! Okay, let's go left!
moves the controls left and the ship responds, turning left, as R2 beeps and
Go back?! What do you think I'm trying to do?!
enemy fighter comes into his sights. Anakin pushes the controls and instead of
firing, his fighter accelerates past the enemy ship. Now, the ship is on his
tail. He tries evasive maneuvers.
I'll try spinning, that's a good trick.
rolls the ship as R2 beeps, whistles and squawks.
I know we're in trouble! And if you don't stop cussin' at me, I'm gonna eject
your rusty butt into space! Now just hold on!!
beeps an apologetic reply. Then Anakin yanks on the reverse thrusters and the
ship slows instantly -- the enemy fighter shoots past them and explodes into
the space station.
- PALACE - HALLWAY Padme and the others are pinned down by more battle droids.
Captain Panaka turns and blasts a hole in a large window across the hallway.
GO!!! (runs across the hallway with Padme and a few soldiers, as they make
their way outside onto a ledge high above the waterfall below).
That move was brilliant, Captain. Unfortunately, I'm gonna have to deduct the
repair bill from your next paycheck (turns away from Panaka).
glares at Padme and looks down at the waterfall, then back at Padme again. Then
he notices Rabe staring at him.
(to Rabe) What are you looking at?
quickly turns away. Then Padme, Captain Panaka and the others pull small
attachments out of their pistols and fire at a ledge about four stories above
them. Thin cables shoot out of the pistols and are embedded into the ledge.
Then the cable pulls them up to the higher ledge. Padme and Panaka each blast
open a window. The group climbs into the hallway. They head down the long hall
to the throne room.
Sorry, Captain. I'm afraid you'll have to pay for those last two windows as
Yes, Your Majesty.
I must say, Captain... you're taking these major payroll deductions rather
I will gladly do anything in the service of my queen. (slyly smiles, as he
thinks to himself "little does that cow know, that when I was on
Coruscant, I got another gig lined up as Palpatine's new bodyguard!").
- POWER GENERATOR PIT The laser sword battle continues on the small catwalk
around the vast power pit. Darth Maul kicks Obi-Wan off one of the ramps and he
falls two levels, screaming in a high-pitched voice.
Why you...!! (smacks Maul off the ramp, sending him onto the ramp one level
below, as the Sith's sunglasses keep falling).
MAUL: (looking over ramp edge, watching the sunglasses disappear into the pit)
Darn it!! Those were Ray-Bans!
jumps down after Maul. The Dark Lord kicks the Jedi Master away, then back
flips up to his feet. Qui-Gon ferociously battles the Sith back down the
catwalk into a hallway. Obi-Wan jumps up to the catwalk and runs to catch up.
- POWER GENERATOR ELECTRIC BEAM - HALLWAY The Sith Lord, pursued by Qui-Gon,
backs into a long hallway filled with a series of deadly rays that go on and
off in a pulsing pattern, shooting across the corridor every minute or so.
Darth Maul makes it down several walls of deadly rays before they close.
Qui-Gon is one wall away from the Sith Lord. Obi-Wan is just starting into it
and is several walls way from Maul. He must wait until the next pulse to
advance down the corridor. The apprentice is tense as he waits for the walls of
rays to open. He pops a couple more of his Prozac pills. The Sith Lord paces
and cracks a sinister smile, as he stares at Qui-Gon. Suddenly, Qui-Gon crosses
his eyes, makes a goofy face and sticks his tongue out at Maul, who is shocked.
The Sith starts mumbling something very rude. The Jedi smirks, then kneels and
- PALACE - HALLWAY TO THRONE ROOM Padme, Captain Panaka and the others approach
the entrance of the throne room, when suddenly, two destroyer droids roll in
front of the door. Padme turns around and sees two more approaching, trapping
them in the middle.
(upset) Great!! This is just great! I can hear Qui-Gon's big mouth now:
"see, I told ya this plan wouldn't work!" Throw down your weapons.
They win this round. (Throws blaster down on the floor and angrily stomps
- POWER GENERATOR ELECTRIC BEAM - HALLWAY The electric rays cycle as Qui-Gon
sits meditating. The wall of the deadly rays turn away, and Obi-Wan starts
running toward Qui-Gon and the Dark Lord. When the wall between Qui-Gon and
Darth Maul opens, Qui-Gon runs out to fight the Dark Lord with a ferocity not
seen before. They move into the area at the end of the corridor called the
melting pit, a small area that is mostly made up of a deep hole. The electron
ray gates begin to close. Obi-Wan tries to make it to the melting pit but is
caught one gate short. He slides to a stop, as he almost touches the deadly
electron field. Qui-Gon and Darth Maul battle around the melting pit as a
frustrated Obi-Wan watches. After Qui-Gon blocks one of Maul's blows, they
momentarily pause, face to face.
(staring intently at Maul) Man! You are one... ugly… mother…
he could finish Darth Maul's eyes grow large, as he becomes enraged. Then, catching
Qui-Gon off guard, he quickly bashes his lightsaber handle into the Jedi's
chin, and runs him through. Qui-Gon slumps to the floor in a heap, as Obi-Wan
- PALACE THRONE ROOM Padme, Captain Panaka and the others are brought before
Nute and Rune.
Your liiittle insurreeection is at aaan end, Your Hiiighness. Time fooor you to
siiign the treeeaty... aaand end this pooointless debaaate in the Seeenate.
dressed like the Queen, appears in the doorway with several troops.
Viceroy! Your mama is a salamander!
and Rune are stunned to see a second queen. Nute is particularly pissed about
his mother being brought into this. He yells at the droid guards in the room.
Aaafter her! Noooobody talks aboooout my maaama!
of the droids rush out of the throne room after Sabe. Padme sits on her throne
and immediately hits a security button that opens a panel in one of the chair's
arms. She grabs two pistols and calls to Panaka.
Captain! (tosses one of the pistols to Panaka and they both blast the rest of
the battle droids).
(to his troops) Jam the doors!
men rush to the door and jam the control panel. The Neimoidians are confused
and afraid, especially Nute.
(with hands on hips, strolling up to Nute's face, smiling) Game Over, Viceroy!!
(looks down at Nute's feet and notices he's had a little accident) Oh no you
didn't, not on MY throne room floor!
lowers his head, embarrassed.
STARFIGHTER - COCKPIT As the Naboo squadron continues its attack on the space
station, Anakin's fighter is hit, sending it into a spin. R2 and Anakin scream.
Finally, the boy is able to regain control as his ship enters the space station
I'm trying to stop! I'm trying to stop! Whoa!
hits the reverse thrusters and the ship skids to a stop on the hangar deck. R2
lets out a worried whistle.
Everything's overheated. All the lights are red. It's not my fault!
sees battle droids approaching, and beeps frantically.
This is not good.
- POWER GENERATOR - MELTING PIT As the pulsing electron gate opens, Obi-Wan
charges the Sith Lord and attacks him. He is relentless in his assault on Maul.
With one powerful blow, Obi-Wan breaks Maul's lightsaber in two and discovers
that the Sith's "awesome" weapon was nothing more than two plain
lightsabers connected with duct tape. As Maul falls to the floor from the force
of the blow, Obi-Wan laughs.
What a cheap piece of crap! Where did you get that thing from, "The Red
Green Show"? True Value hardware store?
with Obi-Wan's insults, Maul springs up from the floor, charging the Jedi with
one of the halves from his original lightsaber. However, Obi-Wan is the better warrior
and begins to gain the upper hand in their battle. As the Jedi blocks one of
Maul's blows, he pauses momentarily in the Sith Lord's face.
(staring intently at Maul) Dang! You are one ugly… mother…
Darth Maul uses the Force to throw the Jedi back over the edge of the melting
pit. Obi-Wan is able to grab onto a nozzle on the inside of the pit, but can
barely hang on. Maul kicks the Jedi's lightsaber down the endless shaft then
strolls over to look down at him with an evil grin.
MAUL: I bet you'd be willing to kiss my little horny, ugly butt now to get
outta the jam you're in, pretty boy!
looks disgusted at Maul, as he thinks to himself "man, he's got horns on
his butt too?"
STARFIGHTER - COCKPIT Several battle droids surround Anakin's ship, as he
watches the dashboard lights go from red to green.
Yes! We have power. Shields up!
flips a switch and the engine starts. Then he flips another switch and the ship
levitates. Anakin fires lasers as the ship begins to rotate.
Take this! And this!
presses a button and launches two torpedoes which miss the droids.
two torpedoes fly down a hallway and explode inside the main reactor.
(sarcastically, turning to the movie audience) Now what are odds of THAT
ship roars through the hangar deck, knocking over the droids. He races out of
the hold, just as the battleship is destroyed.
GRASS PLAINS The Gungans have been defeated. Jar Jar and Captain Tarpals are
approached by one of the droids. Suddenly, all of the droids begin breaking
down. The Gungans start cheering as they realize they're victorious.
- POWER GENERATOR - MELTING PIT The Sith Lord grins as he goes in for the kill,
striking the edge of the pit with his lightsaber, showering Obi-Wan with hot
OW!!! Hey cut it out, goat-boy!!
laughs, as he continues showering Obi-Wan.
Enough of this crap!!
Obi-Wan jumps up out of the pit and calls Qui-Gon's lightsaber to him, catching
Darth Maul off guard. The young Jedi swings with a vengeance, slicing the Sith
Lord in two. Maul falls into the melting pit to his death. Obi-Wan rushes over
to Qui-Gon, who is dying. He cradles his Master's head in his arms.
Wha... What took you so long?
I wore that Sith down pretty good. What took you so long to finish him off?
(upset) Look, I finished him, didn't I? I mean, I'M not the one down on the floor
(angrily grabs Obi-Wan by the collar) I may be the one dying... but YOU'RE the
one I'm coming back to haunt!
(frightened) What?! Oh Master please, I'll do anything, whatever you want!
Please, just don't come back and haunt me!
Alright then! I want you to promise... promise me you will train the boy.
Yes, Master... anything you say!
I mean it! Train him... or else! (starts coughing hard in Obi-Wan's face, then
releases his collar and dies).
(looks intently at Qui-Gon, making sure he's dead. Then gets angry) Yeah
right!! (drops Qui-Gon's head on the floor, hard) Let's just see if I train
that little brat of yours!
apprentice sticks his tongue out at Qui-Gon, then stands and starts walking
away. Suddenly, the other half of Maul's broken lightsaber ignites and is
speared toward him. Obi-Wan jumps out of the way just in time, as the sword
crashes into the wall. Terrified, he looks over at Qui-Gon, then turns and runs
HANGAR - COURTYARD The large grand cruiser of the Supreme Chancellor lands in
the courtyard of the main hangar. Captain Panaka and several troops guard Nute
Gunray and Rune Haako. Obi-Wan, the queen and her handmaidens stand before the
Now, Viceroy, you are going to have to go back to the Senate and explain all
this. And you'll be receiving a cleaning bill for my floor.
I think you can kiss your Trade franchise good-bye.
main ramp of the cruiser is lowered as Obi-Wan and Captain Panaka lead the
Viceroy and Rune toward the ship. Supreme Chancellor Palpatine and several
Republic guards descend the walkway. The Chancellor winks at Panaka as he
passes; Panaka nods and smiles back. Then Palpatine stops by Obi-Wan and
We are indebted to you for your bravery, Obi-Wan Kenobi. And you, young
Skywalker... we shall watch your career with great interest.
looks at the pocket where the queen's stolen earrings were and flashes a
sinister smile at Palpatine, who nervously smiles back. The Chancellor hastily
turns and walks over to the queen, still smiling.
Congratulations on your election, Chancellor. Now where are my new earrings?
(thinks to himself "darn, the silly teenager remembered that!") Oh,
yes, yes. I regret that I do not have them with me at this time... (notices the
queen glaring back) the, uh, jeweler is putting the final touches on his
masterpiece. I assure you that the earrings will soon be in your possession,
for you to treasure forever!
I certainly hope so. I would hate for it to be said that you are not a man of
your word, Chancellor (smugly turns and strolls away).
Of course, Your Majesty. (Thinks to himself "how dare she threaten me, the
silly teenager! Just wait. I'll make her regret the day she ever crossed my
path... her AND that little Skywalker brat!")
ROOM - NABOO PALACE The sun streams into the
multi-windowed room at a low angle. It is almost sunset. Yoda paces before
Obi-Wan, who is kneeling in the center of the room.
Confer on you, the level of Jedi Knight the Council does. But agree with your
taking this boy as your Padawan learner, I do not.
Well Master Yoda, tough s...
(interrupting) WHAT?!?! Think you that being a Jedi Knight gives you the right
to speak to me as you may?
(cockily) As a matter of fact, I do. And, I'm gonna train Qui-Gon's kid, too.
Without the approval of the Council if I must.
What?! What mean you, "Qui-Gon's kid"? No child had Qui-Gon...
married, he was not!
Hello? Since when did a Jedi have to be married to father a child?
(angrily) Since the beginning of the Jedi! For it is written: it shall be with
honor... it shall be within marriage... it shall be with a chosen bride...
"It" was a one-night stand! Geez man! Like it or not, we Jedi are not
always as perfect as you might...
in denial, starts loudly singing the old Jedi Academy Fight Song, drowning out
Obi-Wan. Frustrated, he finally leaves, because Yoda's singing is much worse
than Jar Jar's.
- CENTRAL PLAZA - FUNERAL TEMPLE Qui-Gon's body is
in flames as the Jedi Council, Obi-Wan, Anakin, the queen, Sio Bibble, Captain
Panaka, Jar Jar, Boss Nass, Palpatine and several guards, staff and Gungans
watch. Anakin turns to Obi-Wan.
What will happen to me now?
The Council has granted me permission to train you. (arrogantly) Look, I'm your
Master now, kid. You step outta line just once, and I'm gonna bust your butt so
a small piece of burning cloth floats from Qui-Gon's body onto Obi-Wan's hood.
He jumps as the flame burns him. Then he beats on his head, hard, to put out
the fire. Perplexed and frightened, the Jedi looks over at Qui-Gon, then back
at Anakin, who's eerily smiling at him.
(nervously) Uh... look, Anakin, don't worry... you will become a Jedi, I
both turn and watch Qui-Gon, as Obi-Wan continues to rub the top of his head.
At the other end of the room, Mace Windu turns to Yoda.
There is no doubt. The mysterious warrior was a Sith.
Always two there are... no more... no less. A Master and an apprentice.
But which was destroyed, the Master or the apprentice?
give each other a concerned look, as someone behind them speaks up.
Shhh! Hey you two, pipe down!
- CENTRAL PLAZA The next day, there is a grand
victory parade. The crowd cheers. Queen Amidala stands atop the palace steps,
next to Supreme Chancellor Palpatine, Governor Sio Bibble and the Jedi Council.
Anakin, dressed as a Jedi apprentice, and Obi-Wan watch from the side. Leading
the parade are Boss Nass, Jar Jar and Captain Tarpals. They stop before the
queen. Nass walks up the steps to stand by her side. She hands him the Globe of
Peace. He holds it up high.
cheers. The queen looks over and smiles at Anakin, who winks back and blows her
a kiss. Amidala jumps out in front of Sio Bibble, pretending to catch the
invisible kiss. Bibble frowns, while mumbling "silly teenager!".
Except for the Governor, there is happiness throughout the land.