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Ignore the Gabe Newell Preview Image. Anyways, I like jokes. They're hilarious! And puns, too!! Post your favorite fun below :D PS: Funny pick up lines work, too!

Posted by French_Fry on Feb 7th, 2014

Vagina jokes aren't funny, period

9/11 jokes are just plane wrong 
 
What do you call a bear in the rain?
A drizzly bear

What do you call a fish with no "eye"?
A fsh

What did the fish say when it hit the wall?
Dam

Sodium joke, anyone? Na.

They threw sodium chloride at me!! It's a salt!!

I don't like fat jokes, they just don't work out

I would do a car joke but I'm exhausted  

I'd make a blind joke, but you wouldn't see the point

I was going to give you a chemistry joke, but all the good ones argon 

I wish I was a DNA Helicase
So I could unzip your genes

I will not stand up for all these cripple jokes!

Alright, let's not be gay here, cum on guys?

If anyone has any veggie jokes, lettuce know

What do you call a fat computer? A Dell

A lion would never cheat on his mate, but a tiger would

I just saw a game of soccer with a bull in the center. Didn't realize sports would get a bit exciting with horned animals. Speaking of which... Golf needs a new horny animal, one not named Tiger.

Why is there gambling in Africa?
There are too many cheetahs

Why can't a nose be 12 inches long? 
Cause then it'd be a foot

Why did the girl fall off the swing?
Because she had no arms

Three tomatoes are walking down a street. Papa Tomato sees Little Tomato lagging behind. Papa Tomato squishes Little Tomato and says "Ketchup!"

How does a bean greet another bean?
How 'ya bean?

What do you call a basketball game between two Mexicans? Juan on Juan

What is it called when a bee has a bad hairday?
A frisbee

What do you call a person with no body but a nose?
Nobody knows

Why does everyone like to hangout with the mushroom?
Cause he's a funguy!

What did the doctor say to the midget?
You have to be a little patient

Midget jokes? Come on, that's low. Grow up!

I bet you I could stop gambling

What is it called when you lend a bison money?
A buffaloan

What did the buffalo say when his son left for college?
Bison!

(Getting late here, I'll add more if I can :D Enjoy for now! I hope none of this offended anyone!!)

Post comment Comments
Sanguinius
Sanguinius Feb 7 2014, 10:24am says:

I understood them all in a second except the one with "fish with no eye".

I just don't get it xD

+2 votes     reply to comment
Arcones
Arcones Feb 7 2014, 11:24am replied:

"eye" as in "i". Take the "i" (eye) out of "fish" and you get fsh. :P

+3 votes     reply to comment
Sanguinius
Sanguinius Feb 7 2014, 3:44pm replied:

Thanks, got it :D

+2 votes     reply to comment
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