So what's your situation? image - Humor, satire, parody

...Crap
The Last Blue Item I Touched (My Demons Broad Sword)
Month I was Born On (9)
Body Part (Mouth)
Last 2 Digits (64)

Soooo YEAH THIS STINKS!!!!

And Now my Sword is going down my Throat
Because i've got a High Survival Chance...

fml...

the last blue item i touched: 6 inch Razor knife made for constuction(fml)
Month i was born on: 6
Body part.....i just got out of the restroom....
last 2 digits...45%

fml

I'm going to be stabed with a AA-battery at my hand 2 inches in with 29% survival chance, I guess I should be feeling lucky...

My cheek is cut 7 inches deep with a blue plastic Mentos chewing gum package... thankfully I have a 76% chance of survival :D.

My shirt
5 inches deep
My left shoulder
42%
What...the...****...

I got cut with my book, 4 inches deep in my mouth.

Think I'm lucky, huh? Got that damn wrong, my survival chance is 02%... xD.

A shovel
9 inches deep
Mouth
06% survival chance...
****

A Sponge (!)
2 iches deep
My chin
54%

WTF? 0_o

my mouse, 11, my face, 32%

(pc) mouse
12 iches deep
my arm
46%

dafuq

This should be an ad in a pr0n site.

10 iches deep leg cut, 94% survival :|

My mouse pad is blue, 8 inches deep (lol) I was cut on my left cheek (it was itching) and 84% chance of living, sounds good.

Stabbed by a booklet 9 inches deep in my stomach with a 01% chance of survival... HOW IS THIS POSSIBLE!!!

my cel. or it was the vga cable?
4 inches.
neck.
66% survival chance.
well, i'm not too much ******

A timeout wrapper cut my finger 8 inches deep and I got a 45% chance of survival. Lolwut

my shorts 1 inch deep in my leg with 73% chance. i think im fine

My shirt
10 inches deep
hands
72% survival chance
surprisingly accurate but what kind of derange person will stab you with a shirt?

A tupperware
4 inches deep
****
70%

xxxx

I'm having a hard time imagining the circumstances that would cause you to get injured by some of these objects, like a shirt, or tupperware... They would have to be handled by an expert weaponmaster to have any hope of even breaking skin, let alone several inches deep. :P Also: A sponge. lol, A SPONGE! :D you would need to fire the sponge out of a gun from Mass Effect to cut 2 inches deep! :P This is hilarious, thank you exalted40000, you have made my day, as well as many others. ;)

My soft, blue mousepad, where my hand was resting comfortably.
I was born the first month of some year a while ago.
My jaw, that I was stroking thoughtfully...Or maybe I was scratching an itch.
And my last digits are...WAITAMINUTE...Is this some kind of ruse to get me to give out my phone number? Well, it worked, 52.

So I was just stabbed one inch deep in the jaw with my mousepad, and I have a 52% chance of survival.

Not so bad.

A crayon,two inch deep,nothing,09%. Well i didn't get stabbed anywhere so this fails.

A pen,4 inch deep,in the chest,14% chance of survival. Lool.

A blue packet of hob-nobs ( 1.bp.blogspot.com )
11 inches deep
In the face
35% survival chance ;)

I can't remmeber what the last blie thing I touched was.

So, I've been stabbed in the [censored] with my PS3 controller, 2 inches deep, with a survival chance of 92%. Eh, I suppose it could be worse.

Towel, eye, 12 inches deep, 99% chance of survival...

I'm confused...

laptop
26 inches deep
my face
74%
???
lolwut

stabbed by wall, 8 inches on the face, 94% survival chance.

tis but a scratch!

I just took a 6 inch stab wound to the face at the hands of a blue recliner wielding lunatic and have a 70% chance of survival...

I'M F***ING INVINCIBLE!!!

Stabed 9 inches deep im the stomach with jeans.
And my survival chance is 99%.

old rusty screw driver
6 inches deep
stomach
25% survival chance

doesn't look to good for me..

My mousepad
5 inches deep
my hand
73% survival chance

sounds about right, cause my mousepad ain't that big.

Blue pen
11 inches deep
My leg
25% survival chance

got a blue m&m stabbed 9 inches into my eye and i got a 01% chance of survival. oh no!

im not sure how, but my shirt is killing me right now(im wearing blue)
its in 9 inches on my face and i have a ???% survival chance.
i have no cell phone.

calculator
9 inches
my nose
no phone so 0%

yay

Well me, My blue ball point pen, 10 inches deep, last body part was my arm, and my percentage survival aws 94% and I'm 5% ****ed I guess.

stabbed with a pillow

3- inches deep

sttabed in the leg

survival chance-18%

****

stabbed by a pen
1 inch deep
stabbed in the thigh
survival chance 20%
Damn that pen is one lucky SOB

I was cut through eleven inches of my earlobe, quite a piercing, by a pepsi can. I have a 91 percent chance of survival. Woot.

last blue thing i touched:battery
month born:8
last body part i toughed:my neck
survival chance 82%
Hell yeah

Stabbed by jeans
2 inches deep
in the leg
42% chance of survival
WTF?

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