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Gordon's Rant
By: Okky

(Gordon walks outside to see a bunch of combine and aliens waiting for him )

No no no! Stop! Stop now!
Do you know how many of you fuckers I have gone through already?
And you! You headcrabs! What is your problem! Going around skull fucking everyone!
I just want to go the fuck home! I JUST WANT TO GO HOME!
BUT NO! You assholes have to get in my way and try to god dam kill me!
All I want to do is go and grab a beer and GO HOME!
Maybe watch some tv, or apply for a new job because YOU MOTHER FUCKERS BLEW
UP MY GOD DAM WORKPLACE! I AM A THEORITICAL PSYICIST FOR FUCKS SAKE! I AM
NOT QUALIFIED FOR INTERSTELLAR COMBAT! But now I was forced to know how to
operate almost every basic military grade weapon in existence!
And don't even get me started on the fucken military! Do I look
Like a mother fucking alien! You can't get it through your thick
government skulls that I am a human and I have killed more people
then the atom bomb!

NOW LET ME THROUGH SO I CAN GO THE FUCK HOME!
GET YOUR EGO-FILLED HEAD OUT OF YOUR ASS AND LET ME
THROUGH OR I SWEAR TO CHUCK NORRIS I WILL SHOVE THIS
CROWBAR SO FAR UP ALL OF YOUR ASSES YOU WILL BE TASTING
IRON FOR THE NEXT 2 WEEKS!

( Combines have wtf face )

WHAT? NOTHING TO SAY ASSHOLES!
AND WHY THE HELL DO ALIENS ALWAYS INVADE EARTH ANYWAY?
WHAT'S SO FUCKEN GREAT ABOUT EARTH!
GO INVADE SOME OTHER PLANET YOU ALIEN FUCK HEADS!

( Storms off )

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