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Facts youy should know and they are important at the same time they give you an extra 0.01 % of survival from chuck norris

Posted by 5anfor on May 21st, 2010

Chuck Norris Reality Facts

1
China was once bordering the United States, until Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked it all the way through the Earth.

2
Chuck Norris is 1/8th Cherokee. This has nothing to do with ancestry, the man ate a fucking Indian.

3
Chuck Norris' iPod came with a real charger instead of just a USB cord.

4
Chuck Norris's girlfriend once asked him how much wood a woodchuck could chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood. He then shouted, "HOW DARE YOU RHYME IN THE PRESENCE OF CHUCK NORRIS!" and ripped out her throat. Holding his girlfriend's bloody throat in his hand he bellowed, "Don't fuck with Chuck!" Two years and five months later he realized the irony of this statement and laughed so hard that anyone within a hundred mile radius of the blast went deaf.
5

Chuck Norris doesn't have normal white blood cells like you and I. His have a small black ring around them. This signifies that they are black belts in every form of martial arts and they roundhouse kick the shit out of viruses. That's why Chuck Norris never gets ill.
6
Playgirl magazine once asked Chuck Norris to appear naked in an issue, Chuck laughed at the opporunity saying “there isn’t enough paper in the world to contain my bearded member”. He then killed the editors simply by unzipping his pants.

7
Chuck Norris is Luke Skywalker’s real father.

8
If you want a list of Chuck Norris’ enemies, just check the extinct species list.

9
When Chuck Norris was denied a Bacon McMuffin at McDonalds because it was 10:35, he roundhouse kicked the store so hard it became a KFC.

10
The Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse actually live in Chuck Norris's nutsack.

11
Chuck Norris once ate an entire ream of rice paper and shat out origami swans and Mister Miyagi from Karate Kid.

12
If you can see Chuck Norris, he can see you. If you can't see Chuck Norris you may be only seconds away from death.

Post comment Comments
chaosmaster4
chaosmaster4 May 22 2010, 7:14am says:

O_o

+2 votes     reply to comment
ramagon
ramagon May 22 2010, 11:29am replied:

well.. it is true... and there's a ton of things that aren't posted here...

+1 vote     reply to comment
5anfor Author
5anfor May 22 2010, 5:54pm says:

feel free to post more :)

+1 vote   reply to comment
Isundir
Isundir May 25 2010, 1:25pm replied:

yeaaah

+1 vote     reply to comment
AUG_DUDE
AUG_DUDE May 27 2010, 12:01pm says:

Chuck Norris destroyed and APACHE by just pointing his finger to it and saying "BANG"

+1 vote     reply to comment
CMDKeen
CMDKeen Aug 25 2010, 12:43pm replied:

That was only once, and because he had missed a Hind behind the Apache. He missed because at the moment an 80 kilotons nuclear SCUD missile exploded behind his back.

+1 vote     reply to comment
Cremat0r
Cremat0r Jun 23 2010, 3:50pm says:

Haha, if Chuck Norris was a Survivor in L4D, the zombies would hide and try to survive would be also a good fact, btw.

+1 vote     reply to comment
☢Guibest☢
☢Guibest☢ Dec 10 2010, 6:05am replied:

If chuck norris was a survivor in Walking Dead, all the zombies would be running from him!

+1 vote     reply to comment
Ahrimansiah
Ahrimansiah May 24 2013, 1:05am says:

ok now ur starting to sound racist toward other ppl because of this monkey face you call chuck...

0 votes     reply to comment
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