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Some of you may like this, and some of you may not. This is a re-written version of a certain Bible chapter (try to guess which one it is) into the Star Wars universe. This is not to be taken literally, and there are no parallels between the characters assigned.
Posted by CrazyOldTeenager on Nov 25th, 2012
Some of you may like this, and some of you may not. This is a re-written version of a certain Bible chapter (try to guess which one it is) into the Star Wars universe. This is not to be taken literally, and there are no parallels between the characters assigned. You might not get some of the things in here if you haven't read this specific chapter of the Bible, or you aren't a TCW fan.
I present to you....the Gospel according to Jango Fett.
Fire not, that ye be not fired upon.
For with what ammo ye fire, ye shall be fired upon: and with what damage ye deal, it shall be dealt to you again.
And why beholdest thou the B1 that is in thy brother's range, but considerest not the BX Commando that is in thine own range?
Or how wilt thou say to thy clone brother, Let me fire upon the B1 that in thy range; and, behold, a BX Commando has thee in his sniper scope?
Thou moron, first fry the sniper that is in thine own range; and then shalt thou more easily pwn the B1 in thy brother's range.
Give not that which is explosive unto the Destroyer Droids, neither cast ye your thermal detonators before Magna-Guards, lest they trample them under their feet, and turn again and rend you.
Ask, and it shall be given you; seek, and ye shall find; knock, and it shall be opened unto you:
For every one that asketh for reinforcements receiveth them; and he that seeketh the enemy scanners findeth; and to him that knocketh it shall be opened.
For what Jedi is there of you, whom if his clones ask for air support, will he give them an orbital strike?
Or if they ask for an Acclamator, will he give them an ARC-170?
If the Jedi then, being utter morons, know how to send reinforcements unto their clones, how much more shall your Chancellor who is on Coruscant send reinforcements to them that ask him?
Therefore all things whatsoever ye would that men should do to you, do ye even so to them: for this is the law of the True Mandalorians.
Prepare not the trashy carbine: for small is the gun, and short is the barrel, that leadeth to being pwned, and many there be which equip this crappy weapon:
But long is the barrel, and freakin' high is the firepower, which leadeth unto achieving complete ownage, and few there be that attain it.
Beware of fake clones, which come to you in a trooper's clothing, but inwardly they are BX Commando Droids.
Ye shall know them by their speech. Do clones say unto thee, "Roger, Roger!"?
Even so every good clone uttereth intelligible speech; but a BX commando speaketh in a weird voice.
A good clone cannot bring forth phony accents, neither can a BX Commando bring forth good speech.
And it came to pass, when Jango Fett had ended these sayings, the clones were astonished at his doctrine:
For he taught them as one having authority, and not as the Kaminoans.