Bacon is the most amazing and important thing in the world, nothing comes close to matching its power
All four of the Bacon Gods shall be posted here. Daily sacrifices shall be made in their honor. THEY ARE SUPREME!!!!
Posted by Ten10dix on Aug 12th, 2011
The First of the Bacon Gods: Ketchupian
Ketchupian is the First of the Great Four. He provides the Bacon Gods with an unlimitted supply of Ketchup. Ketchup=Holy Water. Many years ago, before you (yes you!) were born, Ketcupian was a guy like you or me. Back then he was called "Heinz", and was a poor buger who grew tomatoes for a living. One day, the ULTIMATE ONE spoke to him. He said "Heinz, why waste your Tomatoe goodness on the other human fools? Why not join me and provide the ultimate Bacon weapon: Ketchup." Heinz replied "How much do you pay?" The ULTIMATE ONE replied: "Nothing. The only thing I shall give to you is an unlimited supply of Bacon." Several says later, the Galaxy was starved of Tomatoes for a long period of time. Heinz had joint with the ULTIMATE ONE to form the perfect combination: Bacon and Ketchup.
The Second of the Bacon Gods: Cookarianas
Cookarianas was the offical Cook for the Old Gods. He managed to cook things on the spot, going as far as making a roast chicken in under 10 seconds by pointing his finger at a live chicken and shouting "BANG!". His talents did not go unnoticed, and soon enough ULTIMATE ONE came to recruit Cookarianas. He said "I need your help. I plan to overthrow the Gods, but to do so I need to create the ULTIMATE WEAPON. Bacon.". Cookarianas agreed and spent many nights and days trying to develop the perfect Bacon. When the 3rd Bacon God was found, the combined efforts of him, Cookarianas and the ULTIMATE ONE managed to make the ULTIMATE BACON which was then combined with Ketchup.
The Third of the Bacon Gods: Pigary
Pigary was a human farmer who raised pigs for a living. One day, he put the pigs in a barn, and went inside to have diner. But then (horrors of horrors) LIGHTNING STRUCK! No, really. Lightning actually struck, burning the barn down. The barn had been struck by the ULTIMATE ONE`S ULTIMATE LIGHTNING which turnt the pigs into a primitive form of Bacon. Realizing then that pigs were the primary ingrediant for Bacon, he recruited Pigary and toghether they made Bacon
The 4th of the Bacon Gods: THE ULTIMATE ONE!!!!
He is to awesome to even talk about. Even if I did say what he done, what he is doing and what he is going to do you would simply drop down and die from the sheer awesomness of it. Suffice to say, he is awesome.