modDB v2 Unleashed Thread

I think v2 has brought back a lot of the charmful glee that the original modDB gave me when it was first released. I'm actually enjoying just lurking around, checking the forums every 15 minutes the whole day long, posting generally short things frequently, and I'm in good spirit.

But something is different...

This time, I'm a moderator. To be part of the crew that, acting unseen behind the scenes, many may assume is simply a room full of monkeys chained to typewriters, is an honour. Not only have I been wasting my day giddily dancing naked among the forums, sprinkling urine merrily on the spammers that are my fellows for a day, but I am also frolicking through the lush woods of administrative access.

You see, there is a bit to explain about this outwardly pleasant looking greenery that is the modDB staff home. When approaching it, you may mistake it for any other forest, ready to be romped in in the general abscence of such pointless things as clothing. But as you near the brim of the trees, you get an eery feeling of malice. The forest seems to loom over you in a way suggesting command of all the hills around and beyond. Your stomach suddenly feels slightly sick, but Rutiger, your tour guide, breaks the uneasy silence and ushers you all in.

Once inside, in fact after you have taken even ten steps, your surroundings are utterly and only black. You've lost all sense of direction, but Rutiger urges you on, seeming to know the way.

It has been some time since you entered the dark woods. It could have been five minutes, or two hours; you can't tell. The trees are still invisible, cloaked by endless shadow. Your stomach does not feel any better. Suddenly a faint scent wafts through your prominent left nostril. As you near its source, you reckon the smell to be the sickly sweet smell of decay. You notice a faint light perhaps a hundred yards ahead. Could this be the exit to the forest?

No, it's not, Rutiger assures you in a motherly tone. You suddenly realize that you are before a small hut, as a hermit's humble abode, but one that looks as if it had been abandoned for years. Then, as you come right up to it, you realize it isn't a hut at all, but a crudely and hastily deployed tent. Little holes are chewed all over the canvas, as if small, tortured mutant creatures had been hungrily feasting on the tent and its contents for a long time. Rutiger lifts the flap, which crumbles in his hand, and you peer inside. You jolt back with a strangled cry as you see the sleeping bag. Half-eaten, the holes dotting the bag give ready visual access to the skeleton inside. The skeleton looks very old, old enough to have nothing left of its original person but itself and a small metal pin. As you gather yourself and reenter the tent for a closer look, you notice a strange insignia on the pin; it seems to have two dots arranged as if they had once some important significance.

Shuddering, your party leaves the tent and continues deeper into the forest. You abruptly feel something on the back of your head, as if something had suddenly nested in your hair. You snap back with your hand, smacking your head and sending yourself in a daze. You halt to regain your equilibrium and Rutiger, right behind you, prods you to hurry on. He appears to have not noticed anything strange at all, so you shrug and continue your trek.

Your first sign that you had not fallen into a repeating dimensional warp was the sound. You had already passed several tents, similar to the first, containing skeletons with dotted medals. But now, a low beating sound, as if a mad tree giant had finally succumbed to the urge to wildly storm through the woods, stomping on any small critters that he noticed darting through the brush. Rutiger puckers his lips and shushes you, and the party falls quiet as it approaches the sound.

The sound is now deafening, a definite series of what now almost seemed to be explosions. A red glow now lay in the distance, occluded mostly by black trees before it. Your eyes are fixed on the glow, seeming to exude pure evil and tyranny. You look around at your party, and Rutiger glances at you. He nods his head and crouches. You turn back to the glow, crouching now yourself, and watch, waiting for whatever Rutiger seemed to be waiting for. Suddenly you feel a stab on the back of your head again, followed by a quick shuffling, and what sounded like the biting of many cruel teeth. You leap up, screaming, and run around in circles for the very life of all that is freshly baked.

Rutiger had time to let out a precursory grunt before the red glow suddenly exploded into a blindingly white light, and you felt as if the entire presence had turned its furious gaze on you. A deafining explosion sounds right in front of you, and a blazing streak zooms past you, missing you by mere yards to your left. You stare at the bolt that had flown past you, and notice that it had struck one of your unassuming companions! No trace is left of the poor lad; it is as if he had been banished from the woods altogether. You almost feel envious of him. More streaks of flaming light rocket past you, these missing by obvious distances. They don't seem to be trained on any specific target, in fact, they seem to be aimed simply to strike anything at all.

Your stomach is now twisting and pummeling your rib cage, and your hernia is coming out of your belly button again. You stare urgently back at Rutiger, but to your complete and utter horror, he nudges you to continue on, toward the red fortress of doom.

You have by now been reduced to a mind lost in its control of its parent body. You watch in half-mad horror as your body lurches toward the glow with no seeming regard for its personal safety at all. As you approach the glow, now realized to be a flaming wall of a giant malicious fortress, your body seems to meld with it and then pass through it, and out the other side. Your body collapses in a heap as soon as it passes through, but before it collided with the ground, you managed a quick backward glance, and realized that Rutiger was the only one who had survived. He did not appear a mite frightened, in fact, he did not appear to even possess the ability of fear of human malice at all. But you did not notice this, as you had passed out cold on the ground.

After what could easily have been 30 years in a comatose state, Rutiger pulls you to your feet. You realize it could not have been 30 years, because as you look at Rutiger you notice his full, red-brown hair. As you spin around to get your first encompassing view of the contents of the fortress, you are so astonished that you collapse once again into an unconscious stupour. Rutiger catches you and slaps you across the face, waking you surely. You look, your lower jaw dangling and bonking against your knobbly knees, at a paradise so vast and splendid that you did not believe one could exist in such a place, or in any place at all. Massive oak trees spindle thickly towards the sky, where not one but two suns blaze, bathing the entire place in a pleasant heat with an approvingly noted lack of ultraviolet radiation. You notice that the oaks circle an enormous freshwater pool, and they are in fact part of the pool themselves, as many of their thick branches have been carved into merry waterslides, down which butler monkeys, obviously not currently on duty, slide, splashing water everywhere and giving the general appearance of eternal bliss.

You notice that Rutiger is staring himself, and his attention seems to be mostly dedicated to the slides and pool. But you have no time to think thoughts of tour guide inadequacy as a man suddenly steps in front of you, easily twelve feet tall and made completely of gold. He inquires, in a deep, booming voice: 'What are you doing here?'

You stare at him for a good hour, during which he left for a bathroom break and fixed himself a large delicious-looking sandwich, then reply timidly, telling him that Rutiger, your tour guide, had brought you here.

'This is your tour guide?' He thunders as he turns to regard Rutiger. 'This is no tour guide. Your Rutiger is a fraud.' His matter-of-fact tone causes you to look around again, wondering how he could state such a thing so simply and obviously.

It was then that you realize that Rutiger is no person at all, but an Orangutan. Rutiger ooks awkardly and stumbles off into the distance. You turn slowly back to the golden giant.

'Now, about you,' says he, and ponders a moment. He presses a hidden button on his beautiful gold exterior and says, 'You are not supposed to be here.' You try to protest that it was not your choice, but he shakes his head softly, and gives you a swift boot, launching you back over the fortress wall and plunging back into to the darkness of the forest without. The thundering sound is heard again, but your face is buried under the dirt in fear, so that you don't see anything. You hear a succession of explosions, some seeming to strike something far off into the distance, often causing a faint scream to be heard, until finally you are gone. The last explosion you heard was loudest of them all, and you are suddenly back outside the forest. Your feelings after reappearing there, after cycling through a mild cycle of insanity and random ultra-violence, settle on relief. You look back on the forest, which is now walled up in a giant titanium plated cylinder, no doubt miles thick in itself. Your face twists into a grin as you meander off into the distance.

See if you can figure out what everything meant

Double-yoo-tee-eff?

Great story, by the way.

Hehe I guess nobody goes to this thread because it has a boring-sounding title.

last time I looked I coulden't reply :o

and yes its long and I did start reading until , and it wsa going on and on so randomly, then I scrolled down a bit, saw how long it was and thought

oh em gee

I want to rape your skull.

Yeah chis, not like I expected *you* to read it :p

This is a very, very good story, you my friend, are a very skilled writer, it is truly amazing its almost real from the words, it, its , . . good.

Dont know what the hell it means though

StormÇrøw wrote: This is a very, very good story, you my friend, are a very skilled writer, it is truly amazing its almost real from the words, it, its , . . good.

Dont know what the hell it means though

You criticized the story as great but you can't understand it? ?! You bloody suckup!

Aw thanks Stormcrow, here have a million dollars

lol Cheapy, understanding it and thinking its great are totally different, the way Sajt has discribed things is tremendous

Sajt wrote: Your eyes are fixed on the glow, seeming to exude pure evil and tyranny

Wonderful stuff

*me eats million dollars

The glow is exuding pure evil and tyranny, not your eyes btw.

BTW^2, reading over it again are a few confusing clarity mistakes that I should probably fix

I still think its truly wonderful

k yeah i heard

dude yeah that was cool... I really liked the whole praire dog part... well I tried to read it!

Hahahaha... prairie dog?

So.. many.. words.
GJ!

Its absobally loutly stunning